Darts (Lotion Lotion Lotion)

When I lived in New Haven, Connecticut back in the mid-1990's, our neighbors had a dartboard that made a bizarre sound that resembles the words, "lotion, lotion, lotion" when you connected with a dart. Because we Aspergians tend to bizarrely process sounds as words, the feminine sanitizing cream stuck. Sensory mix-up is an unfortunate side effect of Asperger's syndrome, which is more evidence of the need for a cure. People who suffer from alektorophobia (fear of chickens) are much more likely to avoid going to a Bruce Springsteen concert, not only because they turn the lites off, but because the keyboard solo in "Badlands" as well as the violin solo in "Waitin' on a Sunny Day" both resemble the sound of a chicken. No matter, however, because Bruce Springsteen cares so much about autistic people. He proved this not only by performing at an Autism Speaks benefit, but by turning the lites on instead of off when he sings "Born to Run" to accomodate those with sensory issues.

Speaking of lotion, it is not masculine for a guy to use it, at all. All Aspergian young men should be taught to avoid lotion at all costs, so that they do not appear gay or homosexual. Because it is a sin to have sex with a man, autistic boys should be taught that being strait is the only option. Aspergian boys may be subject to exploitation, or demasculization, from their bullying peers. Behavior like this must be stopped, because it can severely jeopardize a man's sexual orientation.

Speaking of orientation, Freddie Mercury was gay. That's why he kicked the bucket due to AIDS at the age of 45. Had he listened to God, maybe he would still be singing today. Nonetheless, he was a great singer and Queen was a great band. Shortly before his death, Freddie Mercury recorded a song entitled, "The Show Must Go On." Its lyrics are eerily haunting, and it was the last Queen song to be released during Freddie Mercury's lifetime. He never got to sing it live, but it has become a live staple for Queen in the post-Freddie era. It, of course, has to be sung in a lower key, because no other male singer has the range of Freddie Mercury.

Autism is a horrendous disease that needs to be cured. Please join me in the fight against it. It will not be easy, but it is worth it, and in the end, we will emerge victorious.