Friday, September 24, 2010
An Interesting Encounter
About a month and a half ago, my father and I were at a My Morning Jacket concert at the Greek Theater while my mother and sister were out of town. At the concession stand there prior to the concert, there was this older guy and his wife (he was probably in his late 60's, so I don't know why he'd be seeing My Morning Jacket), and he had a fairly thick foreign accent, but it wasn't a non-English speaking accent. It was maybe South African or perhaps Australian, but definitely not British. The guy behind the counter was Mexican-American, and most likely spoke English as a second language. First the old guy ordered the bigger burger, which I guess sounded a little like chicken fingers in his foreign accent. The Mexican guy asked if the old guy wanted chicken fingers and the old guy said yes, not realizing the mistake. When the Mexican gave him chicken fingers, he politely requested a burger instead. Then he ordered a veggie burger, but the Mexican wasn't listening and asked if he wanted anything else. He then repeated that he wanted a veggie burger, and the Mexican obliged. Then, the old guy ordered two Cokes, but the Mexican guy asked him if he'd like two Pepsis instead, which is understandable because most establishments only carry one or the other and they're basically equivalent anyway. Also, I hear that "Coke" can be a genericized trademark for any soft drink in the South, but I don't think anyone at the concert was from there so the point is moot. Anyway, after the Mexican checked the menu, he apologized to the old guy that they didn't have Pepsi, and that they only had Coke. At this point, it got completely ridiculous, and my father and I both burst out laughing hysterically. I mean, the first two mishaps were somewhat understandable, but you don't have someone order Coke, ask them if they'd like Pepsi instead, and then tell them you only have Coke. It just doesn't work that way. Well, there you have it. Another interesting (yet bizarre) real-world encounter through the eyes of an autistic person.
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52 comments:
"It just doesn't work that way. Well, there you have it. Another interesting (yet bizarre) real-world encounter through the eyes of an autistic person."
I fail to understand the significance in the last seven words, how they have any impact on anybody's reaction to the story.
... No, not really.
If I didn't know you in real life, Oliver, I'd be convinced this blog was the most elaborate and satirical prank ever.
I see what you mean, Oliver. I often get a kick out of seeing people who aren't autistic acting bizarrely - it makes me feel better about myself. In the vendor's case, however, it was probably because English was his second language as you said. I think it shows that if you have any kind of communications problems - language-barriers, ASDs, you name it - you're probably more likely than others to face some stigma.
Ollie, it just makes sense that, if you look down on others, then by your own lights, you'll have to look up to others. You're the one doing all the judging, even of yourself.
Consider this:
http://marilee.us/desiderata.html
(especially the 2nd paragraph)
Oliver: I'm mostly doing solo shows these days, but I'm working on forming a new band too. Yes, you have permission to come to my concerts, although I don't know when the next one will be. I'm tentatively going on a tour in late October that should include some L.A. dates. VGW is incredibly bland without you! And without Dr. Marty.
When you said in your reply to Jake, that you felt so inferior to the normal students, it was you who was doing the judging.
You really should check out that link I gave you. There's a lot of wisdom in it, so much you might not be able to figure it out in one sitting.
There is no cure. You may not like it, but it's a fact. And the correct quote is - "And that's the way it is."
Oliver,
You can have research to find a cause and a cure - or as I like to put it based on my own experiences - better therapies to help peoples' autism get less and less severe AND positive social policies to change society's attitude towards accepting us more. You shouldn't limit yourself to only one thing.
And while I normally disagree with Clay, I believe you can learn from the second paragraph of the webpage he linked to. Whatever you decide to do about your ASD - it shouldn't be for other people - it should be for yourself.
I hope this helps.
"Whatever you decide to do about your ASD - it shouldn't be for other people - it should be for yourself."
Wow, a red letter day! Jake agreed with me, and I agree with him - twice. I agree with the above statement, and what he wrote about that old fool Rex Reed in his essay on AoA.
Not just the 2nd paragraph, but the totality of "Desiderata" is heavily laden with wisdom. If you google it, there are versions that can be printed out. All good advice, for anyone.
"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time."
Or as they say, the bowler who wins, is the bowler who doesn't pay attention to his opponent's score.
I don't think any other game has even close to as many proverbs as bowling.
You should print that out and frame it. I have a framed copy.
If you're trying to drum up a disagreement between Jake and I, we don't actually have a long history of communicating our disagreement. I once wrote him a very nice letter on Respectful Insolence, and as I recall, his response wasn't disrespectful or insulting. The "core" of our disagreement is just that he seems to think that his mother's fillings were the cause of his autism, and I say that just can't happen.
As for his articles on AoA, I can't really knock a guy for trying to earn a living, and I think he honestly believes he's right. I have agreed with a couple of his other articles, too.
Another example of where I agreed with Jake. Lenny Shafer is an asshat.
http://leftbrainrightbrain.co.uk/2009/08/asperger-syndrome-is-not-a-disability-just-ask-lenny-schafer/#comment-100640
Aarrgghh!! You bring up so many things, it taxes me to respond! Seriously, I can't handle so many disparate items.
"You mentioned how that in Mozart and the Whale, one of the characters is based on Jonathan, which is something that Phil refuses to believe."
It was Jake who said that, and he was also correct in correcting me that "Mozart and the Whale" dealt with savant characters, rather than just Asperger traits, as in "Adam". I can believe that one of the side characters was based on Jonboy, and I recognized him. I'd have to see the movie again to tell you which one. I don't agree with Phil about everything, but usually appreciate his efforts at advocacy.
"I also remember a time when someone of your name commented on Respectful Insolence and Jake thought it was you."
I don't always read RI, but I'm not aware of any instance where someone falsely claimed to be me. I usually just sign "Clay" anywhere I go. There's only one of me.
"And I thought Jake thought it was vaccines, not dental fillings, that caused autism."
As far as I know, (and he can correct me if I'm wrong), Jake believes that in his own case, it was his mother's fillings that caused his autism. He does support the anti-vaccine, anti-thimerosal mantra of AoA, as is required of a contributor there.
"He personally attacked Jake Crosby due to a mere disagreement."
Ya got that wrong, Kev gave Jake credit for opposing Shafer, where Shafer wrote a comment saying that Aspergers isn't a disability. It certainly IS, for all the reasons you, Jake, and I experience. You should read more of my blog.
"We are not a "minority group seeking civil rights," we are a diseased people who is desperately seeking a cure, and we won't take no for an answer."
None of us has a "disease". Our brains are wired differently, in the same way as being left-handed or gay is wired differently. There's no cure for it, in the same way there's no cure for Down syndrome, William's syndrome, Rett's, any number of things.
You are welcome to try any cure you hear of, but you will only be disappointed. Sorry.
A better course of action would be to do the best with what you have, because that's all you got. We do need acceptance, and eventually we'll get it, just as blacks, women, and gays have, to some degree. There will always be some ignorant haters who refuse to accept rights for any of those groups.
"Let's compare that with my best high school essay, which was about bearded men and how they are heroes to the world. If only Phil Gluyas didn't have a beard."
An excellent example of how we all say foolish things as teenagers. ;-)
"...but gay people should burn in Hell. I have no tolerance for them."
Whao...dude. That was almost a good comment - then you came up with that zinger near the end.
What did I tell you about making profane and homophobic statements like that? Seriously, it needs to stop. I'm sure you've encountered more than your fair share of abuse related to your having an A.S.D. - I know I have. You should not emulate those kinds of negative behaviors that caused great difficultly for you by expressing prejiduce towards others. At the very least, you should keep your intolerant views to yourself.
"What did I tell you about making profane and homophobic statements like that? Seriously, it needs to stop."
I'm starting to like Jake more and more...
"Etymologically "dis" means "not" and "ease" means "happy." If it makes us unhappy, it is by definition a disease."
Under that fucked logic, your thought process is a disease because it causes a great deal of despair and unhappiness in me regarding the intelligence and capacity for thought of my own species.
"so I can reach out to a broader number of people."
You don't reach out to anybody so it's okay.
"Nobody impersonated you on Respectful Insolence. It was someone else named Clay whom Jake thought was you."
I'm just unaware of this exchange. Can you find it and post the link here? Then I could verify or not.
"Jake has said numerous times that he is NOT anti-vaccine, so stop calling him that."
Yeah, most people on AoA deny being anti-vaccine, they just want safer vaccines, fewer, more spread out, yada yada.
"why don't you try telling that to Ari Ne'eman over at the ASAN, which I believe you're a member of."
He's already gotten the word, and has changed his position on that, although you and Jonboy refuse to acknowledge that. That's what I meant by "foolish things teenagers say".
"Kevin Leitch just completely bashed Jake Crosby, treated him like shit,"
It should be easy to give a link for that too. The LBRB post I was referring to, Kev gave Jake a lot of credit for his essay about Aspergers being a disability, and for what he said to Shafer, when Shafer got a "comment of the week" award. Just credit where credit is due.
"And when you say that we are "wired differently," that implies that you believe autism to be merely a "difference" and not a disability of any kind."
It doesn't imply it's not a disability. One's brain can be wired so differently it's definitely a disability. Some more than others. I qualify, so do you, so does Jake and Jonboy, Phil, QDan, Chelsea, all regular commenters here and members of what you call "neurodiversity" are affected enough to cause serious problems, especially socially and sensorily.
"Gay people are making a conscious choice to disobey the laws of the Lord, and they will pay for it."
It's not a matter of choice, it's been proven that their brains are different, more like the other sex than ordinarily.
"Down's syndrome can be cured via an abortion,"
You call that a "cure"? Where more than 90% of those found with a trisomy are terminated?
"so a cure for autism would eradicate that as well."
Is that the kind of cure you want for autism too? Do you really wish you had never been born? Do you suppose Jon wishes he had never been born?
SPEAK UP, JON, answer a question for once!
That's not a "cure", that's non-existence.
"Also, I got an A on my beard essay."
The fact that you got an A doesn't mean that your theory was correct, but maybe that you wrote of it, expressed it well. And was that at VGW, or the public school?
" All members of neurodiversity need to accept that autism needs to be cured and stop dissing us curebies."
This isn't a need for us, you need us to make these changes, but you're out of luck.
"This is a need for the autistic community, and you are a hinderance to it. People will see that autism needs to be cured, and you will end up getting the short end of the deal."
I probably would have laughed hysterically at that stupid comment if I wasn't laughing histerically at Family Guy right now, you know that episode where Chris gets expelled from school and then Carter gets him into that rich boarding school. Funny show.
I think reality is doing more preventing than us.
No... Reality is that there is no Cure, and if there is one, modern science is very far from reaching it.
"Well, Clay, it looks like you overuse the italics feature,"
That was some technical glitch. Only what you wrote was supposed to be in italics. I may have made a mistake, it really is a pain to have to insert all these HTML tags.
"A man from Missouri named Clay commented and Jake believed him to be you."
Okay, I didn't see that one. I just hope that Jake didn't make a fool of himself insisting the guy was me, like you and some others did here when you first started. ;-)
"Everyone on AoA is pro-vaccine, they just want safety."
No. There have been many comments there that accuse thimerosal and vaccines in general for autism and any number of other things. All the items sold there by Lee Silsby are based on the incorrect theory that autism is caused by thimerosal.
"His next step is to acknowledge that autism needs to be cured."
No, your next step is to acknowledge that autism can't be cured.
Really, Ollie, arguing with you is like wrestling with a pig. Go get your ALA, I understand it's a great anti-oxidant. It "fights cell-damaging free radicals in the body and revitalizes the underlying structure of the skin, so it can look healthier and more radiant". But that's all it will do for you. Only $31.98 for 5 bottles of 60, 600 mg capsules. (Buy 2 bottles, get 3 free! That's from "Puritan's Pride" vitamin catalogue.)
When that fails, throw a hissy fit until your folks agree to take you for the IV treatment.
When that fails, sue their pants off, so that if you win, you'll be set for life! (You still won't be able to work, but won't need to, and you can buy all the nookie you want!)
Heh-heh-heh!
"Unfortunately, Jake did keep insisting that Missourian man was you. He demanded irrefutable proof that it wasn't you."
I'm sorry to hear that, (I think), but now you've piqued my interest. About how long ago was it?
"It's widely known that mercury causes autism,"
No, although mercury can cause mercury poisoning, the symptoms for which are much worse than symptoms of autism.
"ALA says right on the bottle "proven cure for autism," and "you'll get laid within a week or your money back,"
It probably doesn't say that on the bottles from Puritan's Pride, a company that mainly sells vitamins, and is not selling snake-oil treatments for autism. Your company probably charges a lot more, too, for the same thing. You won't have to sue them, though, I'm sure they'll gladly give you your money back, which is the only redress they offer.
You'd get a tattoo, which would involve thousands of needle stickings, to show "loyalty" to some place or other, but won't go for the treatment that you honestly believe would make you "normal" in every way, get laid, drive a car, get a job, be independent and all that jazz because you're afraid of the needle???
That just makes no sense.
"My folks don't need to agree to anything, since I am over 18 and can legally make decisions regarding my own medical care.'
If your folks don't kick you out from under their roof for that attitude, then I have lost all respect for them as parents.
"I believe that the intelligent design post was around the summer of last year."
I've been searching Orac's blog since I wrote you last, still haven't found it. I did find a hilarious discussion involving someone who calls himself "Smarter Than You", (who sounds disturbingly like Kent Adams, but I could be wrong), who has sparked a 313 response discussion. I'm only up to #246 right now, but I'm pretty sure it's not the one you meant. Jake did make a comment there, but it was pretty much ignored.
http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2010/03/censorship_you_keep_using_that_word_it_d.php#comments
I've limited my search to the past couple of years, because Jake and I had probably never heard of each other before that.
Hey Jake, do you know when/where that discussion was, where you thought someone else was me? I doubt if it could top the laughs I'm having at the post linked above, but I'm just curious.
I would agree that Jenny McCarthy's son was most likely mis-diagnosed, but would suggest that Jamey Gilbert's mom (KGAccount) is also wrong about her own son having only autism. It could be that he's way ID or have Childhood Disintegrative Disorder.
"Also, if a Big Pharma company declines to give me my money back due to a "technicality," that is grounds for a lawsuit on the basis of false advertising."
Like I said, I'm sure the company will gladly give you your money back. Don't you read? There will be no lawsuit.
Oral chelation is entirely different from IV chelation, different substances, different methods. The only thing they have in common is they won't make you any less autistic. But you are free to spend as much as you want to find that out.
Is the reason you're delaying taking the ALA because you don't want to be disappointed? Go on, take it, or stop yapping about it!
As long as you live under your parent's house rent-free, their rules bind you.
"They do for me and I do for them, but legally they cannot control my medical care. Also, they can legally evict me from the house but they won't."
Wow, I've a lot of respect for your parents. They're willing to let you do whatever you want, without any recourse. If true, then your parents are cowards.
I'm not prying, I am just saying that if I wanted to have a medical procedure that my mother didn't approve of, she has the backbone to say fine, but live elsewhere if you do. If your parents don't approve of you getting chelated, which I know for a fact they don't, and they allow you to do it, then they have no back bone.
Legality has nothing to do with it.
He has more ethos than you, little man.
Just by reading alone, an outsider would read your blogs, read Phil's blogs, and without prior knowledge he'd see it more likely that you are a lying little brat.
No, people would see you as an angsty teenager. Who pisses moans and bitches. Who doesn't even see all the fallacies in every last thing he believes. Why don't you re-read through the commenting on this thread? Particularly the comments by Jake Crosby. I'm not putting words in Crosby's mouth, he is the one person I can say I respect in the pro-cure side, because he is respectable and is the one person whom has tried (and successfully) to make something of himself despite having Autism. Like I said, I disagreee with him and respect him, and am not claiming to know what he's thinking, but judging by things he's said on this thread, and by your responses to those comments, I think it's likely you've lost a great deal of appeal to him.
Being that he is one of the people you respect most and a major ally of yours, wouldn't that make it seem that Phil has a lot more support and credibility than you?
"You are under a false assumption that I am amounting to nothing due to my autism, as you do not know me outside of this blog."
Actually, as I was alluding to earlier, when I was looking to speak to the "real Canby", I am well aware that you are making great strides and that you are working hard and getting further in a good direction. Since, you are making major steps, that begs the question, why would you not bring it up here? Why aren't you mentioning how well you're doing in real life? Why are you focusing on all this other bullshit you do say on this blog?
It doesn't matter if you're doing anything in real life, anybody who reads this blog and has nothing to go on other than this blog, thinks you are a little shit, who is pissing and moaning. So why don't you tell people what's going on in real life, instead of all this other garbage, and get rid of the shroud of mystery you have about your life so that nobody has to make assumptions? How about doing that, maybe that will get you taken seriously?
Phil talks about himself in real life and tells people (you can call them lies, it doesn't really matter, either way he talks and addresses his real life) what he has done, and what he is currently up to, you just rant on your little sit and spin about how your side is right and our side is the anti-christ.
That or you tell stupid anecdotes about life through an Autistic Person's Eyes, that don't really have anything to do with being Autistic, they're just funny stories acquired from people-watching, that or you bitch about something involving gay rights, that doesn't tell us anything about you, or is even Autism related, it's just a bunch of garbage you're spewing that has no real purpose.
And this is exacly why Phil is more credible than you, because he puts everything out there for interpretation, and only removes it when it's dangerous. Jake is credible, I'm credible. John Best is a flat-out lunatic, but he is more credible than you because he sticks to his issues and discusses his life, he's too stupid to lie, but that's besides the point.
"I respect your views"
"All members of neurodiversity need to accept that autism needs to be cured and stop dissing us curebies."
Is there not a contradiction?? You do not respect my views, as has been clearly demonstrated.
Tell me one post in the last couple where you have been saying anything that you have been doing with your life, that wasn't in the form of a humorous, yet pointless anecdote. That's what I mean, so if you've been up to things, then you have hidden them by not mentioning them and that is something that you must have a reason in doing. I'm not accusing you of sugarcoating, I'm accusing you of not mentioning things.
Because either the statement "You are under a false assumption that I am amounting to nothing due to my autism, as you do not know me outside of this blog " is a load of crap used to make me look like I'm saying things without knowledge, or that statement is true, and that you are intentionally not giving enough information about what you are doing in real life, causing these assumptions to be made. Which is it?
You're missing the point. This isn't about rights, this is about being a legitimate source and not being a legitimate source.
Ollie, you must watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HhHiaiPgNY
I'll bet you change your mind about getting a tattoo.
Oliver, this is an official warning. You are misrepresenting Autism and threatening it's understanding with your inaccurate statements. There is no cure for the condition and you should get help to adjust to your condition. I understand from what I have been told that you have low self esteem but that does not give you an excuse to lie about Autism. Most people adjust. Those that don't are miserable for the rest of their lives.
Please close down this blog and get full time assistance. Autism is not a disease as it does not kill and can be coped with. Calling for a cure stops the help that is needed from being provided.
Chris
And if you compare Autism to Cancer or AIDS one more time, I'm going to call people who have AIDS and who have Cancer, and be under your bed next time you get home
Check the IP, Oliver. I was told you may try to claim that.
Chris
You first son. Start with going to college, making friends, having girlfriends, breaking up with them because you realize how insane females are. Having good friends, losing them from growing apart or because they betray you at crossroads in life or disagreement ends in bitter hatred for each other. Overcoming the grief, rage, frustration at the brotherhood ending and forming new brotherhoods with other people. Having hobbies and achieving a good amount of success in them. Volunteering as a creative writing tutor for inter-city children, because it helps both me and other people. Mentoring a few other younger people with Aspergers, and helping them through situations I didn't get help like that when I went through. Going to college, starting film clubs, joining an on-campus sketch-comedy troop, living life, and all this while keeping on top of my own finances, classes grades and living.
Do all of these things that I (oh, such a juvenile person) have done, and maybe I'll "grow up a bit" for you, you juvenile little brat.
No one uses my computer except for me, Oliver. Learn some manners, young man.
Chris
"So you used someone else's computer. You aren't fooling me, Phil, and you're only making an even bigger fool of yourself."
It won't be the first time you lied about an anonymous poster. You claimed I was nit-picker, after I retired from blogging. Saying that I was Nit-Picker, when either you were spit-balling or knew it was some other person but lied and said it was me.
No, Oliver, you are acting like a paranoid fool. You are dangerous to the community and we oppose you as one. I have just called Philip and he is presently looking after his ill wife at home. You owe him and me an apology.
Chris
You don't have a nut to play with, because you're lying through your teeth. I had no reason to use a sock puppet as I only retired from blogging, not from commenting. The Nit-Picker did not have the same IP because the Nit-Picker is not me.
What do I have to say to convince you that I am not Philip?
Chris
You wanna keep playing this game don't you son?
You can not be saved, Oliver. You will be silenced. Philip has indicated that he will be bringing this matter up with Autism Victoria with the view of having this blog deleted as a hate blog. Autism Victoria is already behind Philip's action against John Best.
Chris Hartnett
Autism Ballarat
Where've you been Oliver?
Yeah, glad you been busy, just wondering what you been up to buddy, because usually you're not off for so long.
Oliver, are you still listening to these nutcases who had their brains poisoned by mercury? I'll be glad to help you when you're ready. All these people you're talking to have also had their brains screwed up by the government's vaccines.
@Oliver:
I never insisted that the Clay I was arguing with on "Science"Blogs was actually Clay Adams and that he should give me irrefutable evidence to prove he wasn't. I just confused the two briefly, right after which I was corrected - I never challenged the correction. In fact, I said I didn't care.
Jake said:
"I never insisted that the Clay I was arguing with on "Science"Blogs was actually Clay Adams
I never did see that discussion, though I've spent hours trying to find it, going through Orac's archives.
I'm glad you didn't insist the guy was me, thus making yourself look foolish.
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