Text Messages From Aspie Al

A couple of hours ago, right before I left to go out to dinner in this freezing cold town of Albany, New York (from which I will return tomorrow), I received several blatant text messages from Aspie Al insinuating that I was homosexual. I tried to convince him otherwise, but to no avail. Please note that none of this is true and I am 100% heterosexual, despite being a virgin. We came up with a proposal that we would have a trial to determine my sexual orientation, and with my grampaw being the judge I'd win for sure. Aspie Al, however, wants the judge to be one of our former teachers at VGW to make things fair. I don't know why Aspie Al lashed out at me like this, but he said it was because his girlfriend has good gaydar and can sniff out a gay person from a mile away. Well, apparently her gaydar is off, because I am as strait as can be. Also, when we went to the dog park a couple of weeks ago, her gay friend was there, and he apparently also believes me to be gay. I thought gay people also had good gaydar, but maybe it is just wishful thinking, because I am strait and I only like women. So in a nutshell, I am strait and just because Aspie Al said I was gay doesn't necessarily make it true. When we were both at VGW, I had a rule that "what Al says goes," but I could always overrule him in extreme circumstances, and this is one of those.

An Influx Of Traffic

I noticed yesterday that many people who Googled Ari Ne'eman came across my blog, probably because of the recent New York Times article. Among these people included the Autism Society of America, UMBC (Ari Ne'eman's college), and a household on Long Island, which is where Ari Ne'eman grew up. I would just like to say that if any of these people have any connections at all, please come forward and get me an interview with a mainstream media outlet such as Larry King. I believe I have a lot to offer and I also have an agenda to promote. The sad thing is, the liberal mainstream media doesn't care about us. They only care about "neurodiversity." I need my views heard not just for me but for all pro-cure autistics, so we can get the funding we deserve. Senator Sessions has certainly taken a step in the right direction, but we need a hell of a lot more than that. Anyway, it seems that the public has somewhat come to its senses on neurodiversity, and let's hope they come around completely and give me an interview on Larry King.

Senate Block Ari Ne'eman's Confirmation

Well, it appears an anonymous Senator has blocked the confirmation of Ari Ne'eman, which will allow for months more of debate and possibly a filibuster. I am not sure, but my guess is that this is the work of Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL). Sessions is the Ranking Member of the Senate Judiciary Committee and a true fighter for real issues. For example, he fought vigorously to prevent the confirmation of Justice Sonia Sotomayor but it was futile as the Democrats had a filibuster-proof majority at the time. Now, that is no longer the case and I'm sure my fellow Republican contingency will filibuster the nomination of Ari Ne'eman and get him where he belongs. It seemed in the past that Jenny McCarthy and other pro-cure people were Democrats, and Elaine Hall even said "Obama for Autism," but now it seems my fellow curebies are seeing the light and seeing Red as well. God Bless You, Senator Sessions! You are a hard working man and your party will be back in power come the midterms.

My Fortune Cookie

Well, I didn't want to post during my vacation but I feel this is important. At a Chinese restaurant in Albany, New York, the land of 30 degree weather, I received a fortune cookie that said, "An ounce of care is worth a pound of cure." I thought it couldn't be more fitting to the purpose of this blog. It basically said that if I cared only a little bit about people then I could cure them, which is exactly what I want to do. On a side note, I updated my profile so that it is now visible to the public, so this should alleviate any confusion that I am John Best, if it is indeed still out there.

Off To Albany, New York

Well, every two years I unfortunately must leave Los Angeles and go on vacation to the freezing-cold Albany, New York to celebrate the Jewish holiday of Passover. Ironically, I am not legitimately Jewish as I did not have a Bar Mitzvah due to my autism. I had no idea autism could take away religion, but it did and that is why I need it cured. Because my Jewish temple prevented me from having a Bar Mitzvah due to my autism, I am thinking of becoming an Evangelical Christian, because I share their Republican views much more than any other religion.

A Good Old Quote From Michael Savage

Now you want me to tell you my opinion on autism, since I'm not talking about autism? A fraud; a racket. For a long while, we were hearing that every minority child had asthma. Why did they sudden... Why was there an asthma epidemic amongst minority children. Because, I'll tell you why: the children got extra welfare if they were disabled, and they got extra help in school; it was a money racket. Everyone went in and was told (fake cough), "If the nurse looks at you you go (fake cough), "I don't know, the dust got me."" See, everyone had asthma from the minority community. That was number one. Now the illness du jour is autism. You know what autism is? I'll tell you what autism is in 99% of the cases: it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, "Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot." Autism: everybody has an illness. When I behaved like a fool my father called me a fool. And he said, "Don't behave like a fool." The worst thing he said: "Don't behave like a fool. Don't be anybody's dummy. Don't sound like an idiot. Don't act like a girl. Don't cry." That's what I was raised with; that's what you should raise your children with. Stop with the sensitivity training. You're turning your son into a girl, and you're turning our nation into a nation of losers and beaten men. That's why we have the politicians we have.

Fantasy Baseball Draft

Well, I'm off to my first live fantasy baseball draft tonight. This requires preparation and concentration for four-and-a-half hours that I believe most autistic people couldn't handle. Although I am better off than other autistic people in many ways, I still struggle in others. For example, I have not had sex and I am 17 years old. That is what really makes me feel so autistic, which is why I need a cure. On a side note, I've been using StatCounter recently and I noticed someone from a law firm in the Valley that specializes in cases of insurance fraud was reading my blog. My blog had been linked to via a Facebook page of whom I had absolutely no idea whom it belonged to. I was wondering, maybe it belongs to one of my anonymous commentors. I still wonder why a lawyer who specializes on cases of insurance fraud would be reading my blog, as any legal case involving this blog certainly wouldn't have anything to do with insurance fraud. The Facebook page was not that of this lawyer as it was someone way too young to be a lawyer. If anyone knows about this and would like to notify me please do so as I would like this mystery solved. Thank you and God bless.

Hangin' Out With Aspie Al

This was to be my original post today before Phil went bezerk last night. I may or may not do a post on that subject later on. Prior to Phil going crazy last night, I was going to let him and Andrew comment on this article but Phil dug his own grave last night by saying that autism was a civil rights issue. So neither he nor Andrew can comment. As you all know, I went over to Aspie Al's place last Wednesday night, and it was an eye-opening experience, as it made me realize that neurodiversity is more widespread than I once thought. My first inkling was when I texted Aspie Al to tell him I had an autistic blog. He told me I was a dumbfuck loser. I asked him to elaborate further but he didn't until he saw me in person. I then pressed the issue further, and he told me that I wasn't autistic and that I just say stupid things sometimes. When I asked him about a cure for autism, he said that one did not exist. When I pressed on the issue of chelation, he rejected it. When I asked him why I hadn't had sex yet, he said I was just lazy and that I needed to take matters into my own hands. Now I'm not gonna end a years-long friendship with Aspie Al over the concept of neurodiversity, but it made me realize that way more people believe in it than I thought and we must do something about that. Phil is a dumbfuck idiot who is acting like God. I offered him a good deal last night to end all of our fighting and respect our difference of opinion but apparently I must bow down to him and accept his opinion as fact, which I will not do as I will not sacrifice my freedom. God Bless You All .

Back From Spring Training

Well, I'm finally back in LA after a long weekend in Phoenix. I didn't have any autistic episodes and I hung out with a former US Vice President. It was a fun trip, although the ridiculous health care legislation passed. The final scores of the games I witnesses were:

Game 1 (Hi Corbett Field-Tucson, AZ): Colorado Rockies 10, Oakland Athletics 4
Game 2 (Scottsdale Stadium-Scottsdale, AZ): San Francisco Giants 6, Cincinnati Reds 0
Game 3 (Camelback Ranch: Glendale, AZ): Cleveland Indians 12, Los Angeles Dodgers 5

It was unfortunate that the Dodgers lost and the Giants won but it doesn't matter in Spring Training. Other stuff isn't going too well. Phil is still threatening legal action, which is friviolous. He wrote an incredibly defamatory comment about me which he refuses to withdraw. I have agreed to withdraw two of my comments toward him which are potentially defamatory and could maybe harm him, though not nearly as much as his false statement about me. I even offered a complete truce if he respects my opinions despite disagreeing and I will do the same in return. He cannot change my opinions nor can I change his. I am preparing a major post tomorrow that may rattle some cages on both sides of the fence. Everyone be prepared. Phil also posted about the Autism Heroes book on his forum. While I don't know exactly what he will talk about, I have a pretty good idea. I would just like to state that the opinion expressed in that book is that of my parents and not me as I was not interviewed. God Bless You and Good Night.

A Weekend at Spring Training

Well, I'm off to AZ to catch some Cactus League action this weekend, so it's unlikely I'll update this blog. I was just wondering, would most autistic people be able to handle that? I mean, sitting in the hot sun for hours watching baseball, driving several hours to Phoenix and back, driving another couple hours to Tucson, and staying in an unfamiliar setting? I don't think so. Respond to me with your opinion on that matter. Although I am better off than most autistic people, I still have a far way to go. I have not had sex, among other things, and that really pains me. Anyway, I was in Wilmington visiting Aspie Al last night. We went to the dog park in San Pedro (just outside of Wilmington) and then returned home. I bussed it all the way to Wilmington from LA and it took two hours. I think that might be a little better for autistic people, because normal people drive and Aspie Al went to a non-public school, but somebody lower functioning may not even be able to do that. Anyway, thank you all and good luck with your lives.

Dumbfuck Creates His Own Blog

Well, just when we thought we were rid of him, he's back. The motherfucker who calls himself Shut The Fuck Up has created a new blog completely defaming me and saying that I am John Best, which even neurodiversity knows is not true as they have expelled this moron from their movement. He is insane and a dipwat. I will be suing him in the 9th Circuit next month on charges of defamation and beratement for $1,000,000 each. And as we all know, the Circuit is on my side so I will win outright. All of you bloggers out there, preach this from your pulpits! Say what blasphemy neurodiversity is, and that this blogger will go to Hell if he continues being a fuckstick! Bombard his blog with nasty comments that drive him out of town! He is an idiot and he knows it, and it's only a matter of time before this whole thing crumbles. By the way, his URL is olivercanby.blogspot.com and the blog title is "Autism is Good," an obvious ripoff of mine. We will defeat neurodiversity. We first must remove this dumbfuck from this earth, or at least the blogosphere.

Thank You Neurodiversity

Well, I never thought I'd be saying this, but thank you neurodiversity. Thank you for having the sanity to expel one of your own when he had gone too far in harrassing a pro-cure blogger. As a result, I have greatly altered the status of my blog. Now, anonymous commentors are not allowed, and I must approve a comment before it can be seen. It's a shame that neurodiversity went that far, but at least they took the progressive step of expelling their member who went over the edge, instead of defending him to their wits end as they ordinarily would have. I don't know where that man is going next, as he has been expelled from neurodiversity and pro-cure won't accept him after he berated one of their members. Us over here at pro-cure often are at a heated war with those over at neurodiversity, but it's good to see we band together at times like this to kick a lunatic off the autistic spectrum, as he well deserves. I think of it like during World War II. The United States, led by President Franklin D Roosevelt, was bitter enemies with the Soviet Union, led by President Joseph Stalin. But then Germany, led by President Adolf Hitler, invaded the Soviet Union, so we helped them out, despite being bitter enemies. Our theory was that "If Hitler invaded hell we'd be against him." Well, this guy from neurodiversity was expelled by his own party because that's how much he was hated. We may resume our war with neurodiversity, but at least now we are at peace over this fallen blogger.

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now


-The Youngbloods, 1967

The Return of the Motherfucker

Well, I thought that this whole John Best controversy had been put to rest, but I guess I was wrong. Shut the Fuck Up, apparently not getting the same memo of sanity that Andrew and Phil got, still believes I am John Best, which is not true. He definitely deserved some telling off, including insulting his race (which should be exterminated from this earth). He is no good for our society and should burn in hell. I did not want to be mean to him, but he is insane so I had to be. All of you, please wake this person up before he gets his ass slammed with a $1,ooo,ooo lawsuit for defamation and beratement.

Matt Kemp is Curing Autism

You may know him as the center fielder for the Dodgers, or you may know him as Rihanna's boyfriend, but I know Matt Kemp as a man who is curing autism. Matt Kemp's 15-year-old brother is autistic, and he wants something done about it. During 2010 Dodgers Spring Training in Glendale, Arizona, Matt Kemp is running a celebrity poker tournament called "Ante Up for Autism," that is open to the public. We should applaud public figures like this who go out of their way to bring publicity to a cause like this. Bravo and encore, Matt Kemp. May you not only have a great season on the field this year, but may you also find a cure for autism via your wonderful charity.

What A Shitload of Insanity

Well, I though the insane bullshit couldn't get any worse, but it did. Andrew and Phil are still in horrible denial, which they will regret when they are sued and forced to cough up millions. They are nutjobs from neurodiversity who will get nowhere in life. There is Shut The Fuck Up (whose name I'd rather not abbreviate), who claims to be a black man in Oregon on the dole. Yeah, as if there even were any black people in Oregon. He hasn't even said that he's autistic, which means that he's not and he goes to the bar and drinks beer until 4 a.m., which is legal in Oregon, because they're commy, tree-hugging whackjobs just like neurodiversity. I happen to live in his circuit, which I have personal ties to and should I sue him I would win outright. He probably spends all his welfare money on beer, but they don't care in Oregon because they take away all your hard-earned income there and give it to neurodiverse nutjobs like STFU. Also, somebody named Tommy challenged my definition of neurodiversity. After I politely told him he was wrong, he got into a hissy fit with me and called me a psycho, so he deserved a telling off. However, the bad is not without its good. Katie K has been behind me this entire time, even taking in abuse from STFU. She also masqueraded as John Best in order to scare away Phil and Andrew (which unfortunately didn't work), but it got the real John Best mad, so it didn't last too long. John Best himself has also been defending me as much as he can without digging himself a deeper hole in Phil's frivolous lawsuit. Also, Andrew disavowed any ties to the Informer, so maybe I'll investigate into him a little more. There is the good, the bad, but there is also the goombah as well. I received some goombah comments today, such as one from Alan L which gave me the benefit of the doubt as to my identity, but also said that I should change my blogging style in order to avoid parroting John Best. I partially agree with this, however, this is truly me and I do not feel like changing my style to act as a coward to neurodiversity. Another goombah comment was anonymous, but it criticized my ties to the 9th Circuit. I explained that that's how it works in this country, and gave Wakefield's show trial over in England as an example. I had other comments too, both anonymous, one the same one criticizing my stance on non-public schools; it was civil but wrong. Another one simply told me that I was John Best, which is wrong and utterly dim-witted as well. It also told John he needed a straight jacket, which shows you how much intelligence said person has. Anyway, after the good, the bad, and the goombah, this blog is awesome, and it ain't goin' away. God bless you all, and may the lord bestow sanity upon this earth!

Special Education and the Importance of Non-Public Schools

Alluding to my post yesterday, this is something I happen to disagree with Jonathan on, although I agree with him in defeating neurodiversity. I believe every autistic child should be placed in a non-public school, separate from the general population. I know that might sound like genocide, but I experienced it first hand, so I should know. I was in a non-public school for seven years, and it worked wonders for me. I would not be who I am today if it was not for that school. When I went to a public school last year, I had so much social anxieties I had to leave midway through the year. I now will not be attending college for that very reason. I know Jonathan did not have a good experience at a non-public school, but we must consider that he grew up in a different era than I did, and times have drastically changed. Jonathan also grossly misinterprets the IDEA act. That act is meant to keep kids in public school, which is why I am against it. Jonathan is against it too, but for the wrong reason. So, if you have an autistic child, and are deciding between a public school and a non-public school, go with the NPS, because your child will like it better.

The Autism Blogosphere: A Vast Array

I stumbled upon this blogosphere last summer and only entered it the other day, but there are a variety of different opinions in it. For one, Jonathan believes mercury doesn't cause autism but nearly everybody else does. Also, Harold is a staunch proponent of ABA, Jonathan abhors it, and John thinks it's useless and that only chelation works. There was even personal attacks abound. Droopy started personally bashing Stephanie Lynn Keil for no apparent reason, saying she wasn't really autistic. I can see doing that to a neurodiversity person, but to do it to another pro-cure person out of the blue is preposterous. However, despite our minor differences, we all have one thing in common, and that is we all want to defeat neurodiversity. We believe it is detrimental to finding a cure for autism. I hope I can make a big impact on the world, defeat neurodiversity, and get a cure for all autistic people who want one. May God bless each and every one of you, and may neurodiversity be brought down.

The Truth About Sadderbutwisergirl

There are certainly many differences between me and sadderbutwisergirl. For one, she believes in neurodiversity and I do not. Also, she is not comfortable using her real name online and I am. She also disrespected Jonathan by saying he was discriminated against. Granted, it wasn't as bad as Clay Adams's disrespect, but it was disrespect nonetheless, and she should apologize to Jonathan. However, a recent post of hers literally tugs at my heartstrings. It turns out that we both have one great thing in common: neither of us have had sex. She and I both have incredible emotional distress over our virginity past our time. The only thing is that she wants to "save it till marriage," which is code for she is too scared. She also mentions wanting to finger herself with lubricant, which means that she is so distressed about her virginity. She mentions religion in "saving it till marriage," but if she was really that religious she wouldn't finger herself either. Sadderbutwisergirl, if you are reading this, consider this an open offer. We both hate our virginities, so why don't we throw them away together? I'm still a minor, but not for long, so you must act fast if you want it to be legal. If "saving it till marriage" is really that important, that's OK, we can just get "married." If religion is the only reason for that, the "marriage" should be only religious and not legal, so it is easier to get out of. Out of all people who wouldn't "discriminate" against you, certainly I am one because I am autistic and I know how it feels. Maybe you will adopt my views on a cure. Maybe you won't, but that's fine, you'd only be hurting yourself. If you should reject my open offer (which is fine, it's an offer, not a command), maybe getting a cure would help you a little bit more. If you should accept it, we would both be grateful, I would be cured and you would also have the option of a cure. God bless you and all autistic people, and may all autistic people who want to be cured be cured.

I Enter the Blogosphere

Hello, My name is Oliver M. Canby. I'm 17 years old and I live in Los Angeles, CA. I suffer from a debilitating form of autism called Asperger's syndrome, and I want it cured. I don't believe in "neurodiversity" because it is a beautiful way to justify heartbreak. I was poisoned by the pharmaceutical companies in their mercury-filled vaccines. Currently, there is a show trial going on in Britain for Dr. Andrew Wakefield, because Big Pharma wants him silenced. They paid "The Lancet" to retract that case because they don't want people to know. Next month, I am receiving chelation thanks to John Best. Hopefully then, I will be a normal person and be able to have sex.