New Year, New Attitude

Well, not really. I just said that for the sake of the title. My attitude in 2011 will be virtually the same as it has been throughout the latter half of 2010. My New Year's resolution for 2010 was to finally lose my virginity (which has been my life's mission since late 2006), but that did not pan out, obviously. It had also been my resolution for 2009, but I thought it was likely more realistic in 2010, which was the year that I reached legal adulthood and therefore no longer had to worry about Megan's law when it came to getting laid. Of course this will once again be my resolution for 2011, but it'll be more dire this time. In 2010 it was like "I hope it happens, but whatever," and in 2009 it was more like "It's a longshot, but I still hope it happens." For 2011, it'll be more like, "it has to happen, or else." I honestly don't know what I'll do if I'm still a virgin at the end of 2011. Perhaps I'll commit suicide. My autism still hasn't been cured, and is unlikely to be anytime in the near future. Therefore, I feel my best odds are to try to get laid as an autistic person (a daunting task in itself) rather than wait on a cure, of which the odds are near zero, especially for someone as high-functioning as me. My parents are now encouraging me to "move forward in life" (i.e. get a job, go to college, do anything but be a lazy ass and write an autistic blog), and I kind of agree with them, except that I'm too god damn lazy to put any plans into action. That is called an executive dysfunction problem, and it has been greatly discussed by Jonathan Mitchell. Anyway, that's a bit off topic. The main point is that the primary reason why I haven't done aynthing over the past year is laziness and not autism, or social anxiety although that is also a somewhat significant factor as well. If I went to college, I could potentially get laid there, but my horrendous experience in a normal high school has kind of turned me off of education. Working can sometimes be a way to score chix, but one of my social skills teachers at VGW told me never to fish off of my own pier. The only way not to get laid is to act like Christian Weston Chandler, but I think I have that covered pretty well. As long as I don't get arrested, I'm in the clear.

What Is A Curebie?

A few years ago, neurodiversity made up a bunch of jargon in order to further their sociopathic agenda. They have made up garbage words like "Aspie" and "autie" to describe people with autism and Asperger's syndrome respectively, neither of which I would ever use on myself. I may use "Aspergian" or "autistic," but never "Aspie" or "autie." However, another word that neurodiversity made up, initially as a prejoritave, was "curebie," to refer to a pro-cure person (be they autistic or not). Initially, many of the "Warrior Mother" types were offended by the word "curebie," despite the fact that it is completely made up and means absolutely nothing. Their taking offense actually made neurodiversity stronger, and we cannot have that. Neurodiversity intended to piss them off by calling them "curebies," and it worked. I, however, have done something different. I have taken the word, and made it powerless, akin to what gangsta rap did with the "n" word. I will now proudly refer to myself as a "curebie," because I am a person who believes in a cure for autism. The fact that I have taken a word made up by neurodiversity and shoved it right back in their face is truly miraculous, and it weakens their cause significantly. I don't use any other neurodiversity jargon, because there are other words for it and it would not have the same effect on neurodiversity as me calling myself a "curebie" would. So I, Oliver M Canby, am indeed a very proud curebie, and I hope it stays that way for a long time.

I Was Sparky

Sometime in early 1998, at an Arizona State vs. UCLA baseball game at Jackie Robinson Stadium, I was Sparky. It was something I had never done before and never will do again. It all started in the middle of the game. I was not paying close attention to the game, as I had not become a true baseball fan yet (that would come a couple of years later). There were other children at the game as well, who presumably didn't pay attention either. Anyway, some guy dressed as Taz came into the stadium, and started entertaining the children. Then, he discreetly asked "Who wants to be Sparky?" The other children quickly declined, because they were all UCLA fans, and knew exactly who Sparky was. I, however, possessed no such knowledge, and accepted the role as Sparky. In the blink of an eye, I was donned with a mask and two pom-poms, and hoisted into the air to chant "ASU! ASU!" My father was absolutely thrilled, because he was the only ASU fan in the crowd of 1,250. He later said that he had to call all of our relatives in Arizona and tell them that I was Sparky.

Looking at this in retrospect is quite interesting. In some ways, I was way more autistic back then than I am now, but in other ways less so. My social skills have greatly improved since them to the point where I essentially pass as normal, but my self-esteem and self-confidence have gone way down since then, and I have become socially conscious to the point where I am almost paranoid. Even though being a mascot is different than being a cheerleader (because your identity is concealed), it is something I would never even attempt today, especially on behalf of the visiting team. I guess I was sort of duped into being Sparky, but I have better social skills now, so I would never be Lou Seal at a Giants vs. Dodgers game, especially one at Dodger Stadium. The Dodgers are one of four MLB teams without a mascot, the others being the Angels, Cubs, and Yankees.

In some ways, I understand why my parents opted not to cure my autism when I was younger. They saw me as a happy-go-lucky child, and their feeling was that simply getting a diagnosis didn't change who I was as a person. This is what they talk about in the Autism Heroes book (2007) for those who have not yet read it. However, since that book was written 3 years ago, my self-esteem has plumetted, because I left VGW for a normal school. I cannot go to college or work as a result. If my parents had known back then that I would be the trainwreck that I am today, perhaps they would've had second thoughts about not curing my autism.

On a side note, the Sparky incident was pre-diagnosis, but it was brought on by autistic-like symptoms. While I know have overcome those, I look back on that incident with ridicule and shame, and while that incident is long behind me (nearly 13 years old), I now suffer from a different form of autism, a much more severe kind that prevents me from leaving my house except for concerts and baseball games.

If you are a first-time reader of AIB, just think of this post as kind of like "autism: then and now." Two different forms of autism, both equally bad and in equal need of a cure. We, as an autistic people, need a cure, and we need it now and badly, so that we can get laid and have sex, as well as lose our virginity. We cannot stand for neurodiversity, as they are trivializing our condition as a "civil rights issue" as opposed to a horrendous disease. Once autism is cured, the world will be a better place. Thank you all for reading this, and peace out.

Another Very Sad Day

Well, Barack Obama has decided to repeal the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy, and that now means that homosexual faggots can serve openly in our military, which includes the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. This will mean more assfucking in the showers, more soldiers getting AIDS, and the gay soldiers revolting and killing their strait comrades. We cannot have this faggotry in our society, and it must be stopped. First gay marriage and now this? Our nation is sliding down a slippery slope, my friends. Apparently, Republicans taking the House last month wasn't enough to stop the liberal left from penetrating our nation's morals.

One man whom I know is very happy about this ruling is ND hatemonger Clay Adams. As a former Navy officer, he was dishonorably discharged and spent 20 years in the brig for assfucking another guy in the shower. Now, his kind of people will be permitted to do that all they want, and they will not be prosecuted for it like they should. Maybe at an ex-Navy convention, he will meet one of the newly-legal openly gay soldiers, and they will assfuck each other in the men's room, just like Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID).

On a better note, the Senate filibustered the Dream Act today. Thank the Lord they did that, because we cannot have any illegal aliens penetrating our colleges and universities.

I'm Going Slightly Mad

When the outside temperature rises
And the meaning is oh so clear
1001 yellow daffodills
Begin to dance in front of you (oh, dear)

Are they trying to tell you something?
You're missing that one final screw
You're simply not into pink, my dear
To be honest, you haven't got a clue

I'm Going Slightly Mad
I'm Going Slightly Mad
It finally happened, happened
It finally happened, oh oh
It finally happened
I'm slightly mad

I'm one card short of a full deck
I'm not quite the Schilling
One wave short of a shipwreck
I'm not my usual top billing

I'm coming down with a fever
I'm really out to sea
This kettle is boiling over
I think I'm a banana tree

I'm Going Slightly Mad
I'm Going Slightly Mad
It finally happened, happened
It finally happened, uh huh
It finally happened
I'm slightly mad

I'm knitting with only one needle
Unravelling fast, it's true
I'm driving only three wheels these days
My dear, how about you?

I'm Going Slightly Mad
I'm Going Slightly Mad
It finally happened
It finally happened, oh yes
It finally happened
I'm slightly mad
Just very slightly mad
And there you have it

-Freddie Mercury (1946-1991)

Long Beach State Cites My Blog

I received a text message from Aspie Al last night, and he informed me that a student at Long Beach State cited my blog in a paper about people with disabilities. I've never gotten that kind of recognition before, especially from a random college student whom I've never met. This proves that my blog is being recognized as a legitimate source, and that Phil's World isn't. It is an honor to be included in a college paper written by someone I've never met, someone who hopefully shares my belief that autism is a horrendous disease that needs to be cured. Hopefully, one citation will lead to another, and this will spread the correct belief that autism is a horrendous disease and needs to be cured. There are sane people out there, I know there are, so show yourself, and speak out against autism. The more voices we have, we can defeat neurodiversity, and we can have a world of peace and harmony that is free of autism.