Tuesday, August 31, 2010
When You Hyperventilate, You Need An EKG
When I was 12 and 13 years old and attending VGW, this was a routine I would engage in quite frequently. I would begin hyperventilating (fake, of course), and tell my teacher, Mr. Rubenstein, that I needed an EKG. Then, after he'd refuse, I'd run down to the nurse's office, knock on her door, and say "Nurse, I'm hyperventilating. I need an EKG." She'd respond by saying, in her Guyanian accent: "You don't need an EKG when you hyperventilate. You just need a paper bag," and would proceed to slam the door in my face. Then, after returning to my classroom, I would pass out due to lack of an EKG, and demand CPR. I would only accept CPR from Meghan, the hottest girl at VGW of whom I later got to touch her on her boobs. After the lack of CPR, I would die, only to miraculously wake up and be fine two seconds later. I even had made up this whole backup story about why I needed an EKG when I hyperventilate. There was another false story about me being diagnosed as a retard, but we can save a detailed explanation of the two stories for another post. Anyway, while I am aware this is autistic behavior (i.e. not normal), I believe it is more than just dramatic play, which autistic people tend to engage in. I believe it has some kind of sexual derivation, perhaps even a fetishistic one. And it's tied primarily to EKGs. When I was 11 years old, I had an experience at the EKG doctor's office that led me to get a sexual fetish for EKGs. It wasn't until I was 14 that I decided that I wanted to have sex with another person, but by then my EKG fetish was too far gone. I believe that's to an extent what alienated me from getting laid, and I'm 18 years old and not getting any younger, was deriving sexual pleasure from something as offbeat as an EKG. I mean, it's kind of subsided to the point where now my primary desire is to have sex with a person, but I can still have orgasm just thinking about an EKG. I'd long thought it was my Asperger's that alienated me from getting laid at 18, but now I'm thinking it might be my EKG fetish. The fetish may be a byproduct of my Asperger's syndrome, but I doubt it. There's nothing in the DSM regarding a sexual fetish. I'd like some feedback. Is it my Asperger's syndrome that turns girls off of me, or should I focus more on getting laid and not having orgasm from an EKG? Or, is it neither and I'm just a lazy sonofabitch who could get laid if he really tried? I'm sorry if I offended any of you, and I look forward to your comments.
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53 comments:
Not having a driver's license is certainly a huge disadvantage in Los Angeles. If there is some way you could learn to drive, that is a necessity if you don't want to remain celibate. Also, you have to go more places and meet more people. You can't expect to find romance without meeting individuals and taking the initiative and asking women out. I don't know what is like for people born after 1989, but in my day, women rarely asked men out and the man is expected to take the initiative.
Also, if you only go for the creamiest women that lowers the probability of success as they can have all the men they want and can be selective. You will probably have to lower your standards at first and you may have to pursue, someone somewhat overweight or has something wrong with them and not a supermodel type.
Of course having an ASD you are at a disadvantage for pursuing women and there may not be much you can do, but try to take the above suggestions.
The answer's none of the above. You can get laid, but it's not laziness that is preventing you it's attitude. You have this feeling that getting laid is that hard. Every girl is attracted to different personalities, you just need to know how to tell which girls would be attracted to your personality, and then show the most positive features of your personality.
Girls who have slept with me, like the loud, humorous, intellectual type, who doesn't go out of his way to be offensive, but doesn't shy from it either, I also even give them room to notice that I'm also a very good listener.
You just need to think about what your positive qualities are, find ways that you can make them noticable to others and then find out how to tell which girls are attracted to those traits. Also be discreet about your intentions, women have sex with men instinctively based on whether or not they like him or not, so they're not gonna like it if they can tell that they're just poon to you.
What you need to do is get it in your head that all the girls you talk to are friends, because that will increase your chances of getting laid for multiple reasons. One of those is then you're not going after just one, you have multiple prospects, and girls tend to get hot for their friends moreso than our gender who make friends just for that purpose from the beginning. And another reason that will help you is a lot of times girls are more interested in guys whom they are attracted to but are not really trying to get with them. I got my girlfriend who broke up with me a week ago today, to get back with me last night, by debating with her on whether it was Agammemnon or Achilles from The Iliad that was a total douchebag. And in that I just made indirect allusions comparing my feeling for her to Achilles' reaction to Agammemnon stealing his wife, and then very indirectly hinting that Agamemmnon being an uncaring emotionless asshole could be what she ends up with if she does not stick with me. All of this was very subtle because women don't like things to be direct, straightforward, or for you to explicitly show your intentions.
That last sentence is something I'll never understand, but believe you me it's true. It's just one of the many things that can be chalked up to the fact that bitches be crazy.
To hell with the Myer Briggs Personality test, people are more complex than four letters. I am an INTP. Which is accurate on the surface. It is true that I am an introvert, because I'm usually only motivated by my self. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm a loudmouth who never shuts the hell up, and when people look at the four letters on my Myer Briggs they would not realize how talkative and opinionated I am.
And like I said, you may be of one type of personality, but there will always be chicks that want to have sex with that personality.
And no it isn't hard for an Autistic person like you to get laid, it is hard for a whiny mopey, chicken shit like you to get laid. I'm not saying that to offend you, I'm saying it because it's true and once you realize it, poon won't be so unobtainable.
And one last thing I need to say about initiative, is while it isn't wrong for women to take initiative, some women respond better when the guy takes initiative and other women let them start it. But whether if it's a girl that wants you to take the initiative or a girl who wants to take the initiate herself, it is universally true, that the guy who gets along best with women, is the guy who gets along best without women.
Oh and to what Mitchell said about the uglier types. I'm a chubby chaser, being that I like fat chicks, because I usually get along with them better, I'm attracted to jiggling asses but most importantly is a little unknown secret about fat girls: they have tigher pussies.
Also, remember what lord chesterfield said about sex like 300 years ago.
"The pleasure is momentary, the position is ridiculous and the expense damnable."
No it doesn't, Oliver. Let's put this into perspective and we'll start with this fetish you're talking about.
I had to think about this because I'm not familiar with the actual ins and outs of the electrocardiogram. The fact that the process brings you to orgasm is significant. I think you'll find that this is an example of sensory sensitivity - a common but not serious aspect of being on the Spectrum. It's very much a case of how you treat it.
In this case, I suspect that the fact that you can't easily access the EKG is contributing to your desperation to obtain that pleasure in the obvious other way - by losing your virginity. That's your core problem - that desperation. You don't chase it. That pushes the girls away. And that desperation (never mind the reason) is NOT exclusive to us Aspies. NT's can be desperate as well, and run into the same problem.
Here's another issue - the sensory sensitivity seems to be revealing that when you do lose your virginity you won't last long. That's a thumbs down for maintaining a girlfriend - and not being able to last is also something that is common in NT's.
That's all I can think of for the moment.
Sensory sensitivity has everything to do with it. You don't need to feel anything on the outside. I doubt you even understand what it is. Fetishes are called that because they are NOT kept under control, and you bet they interfere with daily lives in the NT world. It's certainly interfering with yours, and the only way you can stop it is to recognise it properly. Because it is having a physical effect on you (in that just thinking about it brings you to orgasm) you MUST get help. The fetish itself has nothing to do with your Autism. The fetish is causing your virginity.
Humphrey Huffnagel was an impersonation of me on Facebook that was deleted awhile back. It came to my attention in a Facebook Attack Group that Best started on me. I suspect Best was behind it, but I can't prove it. If I could I'd add it to the evidence against him in my lawsuit against him.
You don't understand sensory sensitivity. Nor do you understand fetishes. So don't try to make statements that you can't back up. Fetishes DO affect daily lives because they have an effect on one's thinking and behaviour. Again - this is common with NT's. Your sheltered education at VGW is showing again.
It is NOT your condition that is causing your virginity. It's your attitude.
Best is the only person who has used that picture. He is lying to you. At present he is lying to everyone in order to avoid providing me with any more evidence against him in the lawsuit. He's scared of me because he knows deep down I've got him.
On Facebook, using a picture in a profile is impersonation.
Sensory sensitivity is a lot wider than just feeling. That's just one sense. What about tasting, hearing, seeing and smelling? And what about the sixth sense - instinct? Think about that. Also - fetishes are NOT pathological, unless they are extreme. Anyway, they still affect one's daily life. You'd understand that if you weren't sheltered at VGW. There are so many gaps in your awareness of the real world, gaps that would not be there if you were weren't sheltered. I have something that you don't have - real world experience. I do not know everything (no one does) but I sure as heck know more than you do. For starters, the only diplomas we have here in Australia are for university and not high school. Besides - yours is useless.
Stop connecting your viriginity to Autism. That's your problem right there - that mistake. It has nothing to do with it. The fetish is contributing, and that also has nothing to do with Autism - except in it's relationship to your sensory sensivitity. It's a bad attitude and the only way to change that is to improve your attitude, starting with stopping being so desperate to lose it. The more desperate you are, the less likely you are to lose it.
Skipsey has no lawsuit against me. I'll have one against him but only if that address that was given on the Asspie blog is right. Best is covered for. And that now extinct Huffnagel account is typical of Best. He stole the picture from my old blog and that's not the first time he's used it. I've issued no less than five DMCA notices on Google on that point against him. There is a huge difference between just using a pic and putting stuff on the account. The latter occurred in this case. That's why it was deleted.
"If something isn't pathological, Phil, then by definition in cannot affect one's daily life."
I'm outspoken, and that affects my daily life, but there's no such thing as Outspoken Disorder.
"I did everything required to get a diploma, including passing the exit exam."
That doesn't mean it isn't useless, how pointlessly facile the requirements is what makes it useless.
"The more desperate you are, the less likely you are to lose it."
As I've said many times, when I go bowling I don't think about bowling, I picture a nice pair of tits. And when I'm trying to get laid, I think about bowling. I am very good at both of those things. Oliver, I'm not saying that you need to take up bowling, but do a similar thing with some other activity.
"I'm sure I have the self-awareness to know when I feel something sensory related."
Just because you've felt something, doesn't mean you understand or know all about it. I am attracted to very large girls, I generally like them somewhere between 300-550 pounds, with very big, round jiggly bottoms. I feel the experience every single day of being attracted to them, and have the self-awareness to know that they give me major erections, but do I know everything about it or why I prefer them over the conventional idea of attractive women? No, I don't, I know nothing about my preferences in women, except that they make my penis hard.
And this is another example about the fetish thing. My attraction to big girls is not a fetish, because there isn't anything devious about it, it's a preference, similar to people's preferences about hair color, skin tone, and what an attractive face is. But it does affect my daily life, because the girls I pursue or try to get to know, based on appearance, tend to be different than most guys. And when other people pick up on that they look at me differently, not judgmentally, but they think about this thing.
"If something isn't pathological, Phil, then by definition in cannot affect one's daily life."
I'm outspoken, and that affects my daily life, but there's no such thing as Outspoken Disorder.
"I did everything required to get a diploma, including passing the exit exam."
That doesn't mean it isn't useless, how pointlessly facile the requirements is what makes it useless.
"The more desperate you are, the less likely you are to lose it."
As I've said many times, when I go bowling I don't think about bowling, I picture a nice pair of tits. And when I'm trying to get laid, I think about bowling. I am very good at both of those things. Oliver, I'm not saying that you need to take up bowling, but do a similar thing with some other activity.
"I'm sure I have the self-awareness to know when I feel something sensory related."
Just because you've felt something, doesn't mean you understand or know all about it. I am attracted to very large girls, I generally like them somewhere between 300-550 pounds, with very big, round jiggly bottoms. I feel the experience every single day of being attracted to them, and have the self-awareness to know that they give me major erections, but do I know everything about it or why I prefer them over the conventional idea of attractive women? No, I don't, I know nothing about my preferences in women, except that they make my penis hard.
And this is another example about the fetish thing. My attraction to big girls is not a fetish, because there isn't anything devious about it, it's a preference, similar to people's preferences about hair color, skin tone, and what an attractive face is. But it does affect my daily life, because the girls I pursue or try to get to know, based on appearance, tend to be different than most guys. And when other people pick up on that they look at me differently, not judgmentally, but they think about this thing.
"I took and passed all the required classes, had at least 230 credits, had at least 40 hours of community service, and passed the CAHSEE the first time I took it."
I'm not disputing whether or not you fulfilled the requirements, I am saying that the requirements and standards for a high school diploma, are useless to the nth degree. I graduated high school too, and the bear requirements are a fucking joke.
"Who said a pathology was a disorder?"
A pathology isn't a disorder, but something that is pathological is generally something that is an unfavorable trait to have, and seriously problematic. Being a pathological liar may not be listed under the DSM as a disorder, but being a pathological liar is disordered, in that in no context would being one not be a serious problem.
Me being attracted to fat chicks isn't a pathology because it is just a preference, and isn't a serious issue or necessarily an unfavorable trait of mine. My friends joke saying "you do this World a service, wanting to do what most of us don't really want to."
My preference in physical attractiveness is unique, not problematic, whereas compulsive lying is a problem.
The reason I made this distinction is because you said that nothing affects somebody's daily life if it isn't pathological, when there's this clear example I just gave that does affect people's daily lives but isn't pathological.
"doing whatever shit you can in order to get laid, be it bowling or whatever else.While that is a path to go down, I don't think it would work very well for me. I kind of think it defeats the whole purpose."
The only purpose that defeats is the pathetic, whiny, "whoa is me" lifestyle you've been living.
"but whether I will try it or not is another story. "
If you're not willing to grow some balls and try, then you must not really care that much about getting laid.
"If anyone's diploma is a joke, I guess that's fair. It is legitimate, but Phil seems to think lower of it because of special ed, and he is wrong about that."
No, he thinks lower of yours in particular because with all of the requirements you've fulfilled you show us zero application of the knowledge taught. I happen to agree with him.
"Phil doesn't even have a diploma himself, so he's the last person who should question the legitimacy of mine."
He's functioned in society a lot better than you have, son, and that really is what the point of a high school diploma is, training to be a good adult citizen, no matter where one goes.
"I happen to know that autism needs to be cured, while both you and Phil live in the fantasy world of neurodiversity. In the real world, neurodiversity doesn't exist, and autism is seen as a horrendous disease that needs to be cured, as well it should be."
You live in the fantasy world known as Biblethumpingity. Where Jesus wants you to cure Autism and be a carbon-copy of everyone else, without any diversity. A fantasy world where you can cure anything with a good regimen of prayer and volatile chemicals.
In the real word a dickweed, who cries and complains about wishing he didn't have Autism is seen as a whiny little shit, who needs to quit pissing moaning and bitching, adapt to life, and learn tools to survive amongst neurotypicals, not as one, but amongst them.
If you really want to know what sex feels like, go to the grocery store and buy yourself a large piece of liver. Take it home, wrap it around your noodle, and masturbate as usual. That's prolly as close as you or Mitchell are ever going to get, and I bet Mitchell already knows all about this.
Oliver, you need to retract that remark about me bashing up my boss, because that never happened. You're listening to Best on that one, and that's the cause of action in my lawsuit against him. Thank you for providing me with more evidence of damages against him. That's now three people who believe his lies about me.
That was a false address on the Asspies blog, because I mapquested it and there was no such address.
Online maps of any sort are useless in this respect. Look it up in the Canadian White Pages using the surname only. The address is there. Joeker's planning nothing except to try and tell other people about me. He's looking for every other excuse NOT to sue me - including one particularly disgusting act on Facebook that scared and insulted Lee. Yes it was her account that reported Best's impersonation, and you don't know what he's capable of so give him the benefit of the doubt at your own peril.
Autism causes virginity, Phil. It causes a lack of social awareness, which in turn causes virginity.
You just contradicted yourself in those two sentences. MAKE yourself socially aware! That's what you WEREN'T taught at VGW. Your virginity is a result of that, and not your Autism. The EKG fetish is distracting you, which is why it is causing your virginity and not the other way around. If you were truly well educated you would understand this.
Also, I'm sure there's some Australian equivalent of a high school diploma
There isn't.
In the real world they don't block other people's IP addresses to shut them out.
Yes they do. Wikipedia do it to vandals. Banks do it to hackers. The list is endless.
...it's OK to sue the railway company...even OK to sue the government
Ahem - it wasn't a lawsuit in either case, and the action against Great Southern Railway never got out of the blocks to begin with. The action in both cases was disability discrimination. That's not a lawsuit - that's a reversal of a decision by an authority. You're listening to Skipsey on those ones and he's the last person to listen to when it comes to anything related to me. Except maybe for Best.
VGW is NOT a sheltered environment, Phil. Having been there for 7 years, I think I may know a little more than you. It is merely a safe haven, an accepting environment for autistic children.
Safe haven = sheltered environment. Enough said.
Phil has not functioned in society.
Oh really? So how do you explain umpiring for 20 years now? Participating in wrestling shows for 8 years? Autistic advocacy IRL on and off for over 10 years? Running court cases (results are immaterial)? I don't sit on my rear end all day every day like you do whining about your life with just the odd outing! Functioning in society is more than just having a job and having sex, idiot!
Honestly you really don't know much about the real world - Neurodiversity is real and has been with us since Adam and Eve. There's your basic example of neurodiversity right there just for a start! And I only put it that way because of your religious leanings.
That's my last comment on this blog. The AIB Response Blog is back and hidden from your vision on my website, and I will be tearing you a new one there. You should do your best Schultz impersonation and admit it - "I know nothing!" And you do know nothing and it's about time you learnt from people who do know. People like me and Andrew, not people like Best, Skipsey, Mitchell and Cresp!
PS - bad advice, anon, although I do admit that you may have been sarcastic in which case okay.
Oliver, you need to retract that remark about me bashing up my boss, because that never happened. You're listening to Best on that one, and that's the cause of action in my lawsuit against him. Thank you for providing me with more evidence of damages against him. That's now three people who believe his lies about me.
That was a false address on the Asspies blog, because I mapquested it and there was no such address.
Online maps of any sort are useless in this respect. Look it up in the Canadian White Pages using the surname only. The address is there. Joeker's planning nothing except to try and tell other people about me. He's looking for every other excuse NOT to sue me - including one particularly disgusting act on Facebook that scared and insulted Lee. Yes it was her account that reported Best's impersonation, and you don't know what he's capable of so give him the benefit of the doubt at your own peril.
Autism causes virginity, Phil. It causes a lack of social awareness, which in turn causes virginity.
You just contradicted yourself in those two sentences. MAKE yourself socially aware! That's what you WEREN'T taught at VGW. Your virginity is a result of that, and not your Autism. The EKG fetish is distracting you, which is why it is causing your virginity and not the other way around. If you were truly well educated you would understand this.
Also, I'm sure there's some Australian equivalent of a high school diploma
There isn't.
In the real world they don't block other people's IP addresses to shut them out.
Yes they do. Wikipedia do it to vandals. Banks do it to hackers. The list is endless.
...it's OK to sue the railway company...even OK to sue the government
Ahem - it wasn't a lawsuit in either case, and the action against Great Southern Railway never got out of the blocks to begin with. The action in both cases was disability discrimination. That's not a lawsuit - that's a reversal of a decision by an authority. You're listening to Skipsey on those ones and he's the last person to listen to when it comes to anything related to me. Except maybe for Best.
VGW is NOT a sheltered environment, Phil. Having been there for 7 years, I think I may know a little more than you. It is merely a safe haven, an accepting environment for autistic children.
Safe haven = sheltered environment. Enough said.
Phil has not functioned in society.
Oh really? So how do you explain umpiring for 20 years now? Participating in wrestling shows for 8 years? Autistic advocacy IRL on and off for over 10 years? Running court cases (results are immaterial)? I don't sit on my rear end all day every day like you do whining about your life with just the odd outing! Functioning in society is more than just having a job and having sex, idiot!
Honestly you really don't know much about the real world - Neurodiversity is real and has been with us since Adam and Eve. There's your basic example of neurodiversity right there just for a start! And I only put it that way because of your religious leanings.
That's my last comment on this blog. The AIB Response Blog is back and hidden from your vision on my website, and I will be tearing you a new one there. You should do your best Schultz impersonation and admit it - "I know nothing!" And you do know nothing and it's about time you learnt from people who do know. People like me and Andrew, not people like Best, Skipsey, Mitchell and Cresp!
PS - bad advice, anon, although I do admit that you may have been sarcastic in which case okay.
Oliver, you need to retract that remark about me bashing up my boss, because that never happened. You're listening to Best on that one, and that's the cause of action in my lawsuit against him. Thank you for providing me with more evidence of damages against him. That's now three people who believe his lies about me.
That was a false address on the Asspies blog, because I mapquested it and there was no such address.
Online maps of any sort are useless in this respect. Look it up in the Canadian White Pages using the surname only. The address is there. Joeker's planning nothing except to try and tell other people about me. He's looking for every other excuse NOT to sue me - including one particularly disgusting act on Facebook that scared and insulted Lee. Yes it was her account that reported Best's impersonation, and you don't know what he's capable of so give him the benefit of the doubt at your own peril.
Autism causes virginity, Phil. It causes a lack of social awareness, which in turn causes virginity.
You just contradicted yourself in those two sentences. MAKE yourself socially aware! That's what you WEREN'T taught at VGW. Your virginity is a result of that, and not your Autism. The EKG fetish is distracting you, which is why it is causing your virginity and not the other way around. If you were truly well educated you would understand this.
Also, I'm sure there's some Australian equivalent of a high school diploma
There isn't.
In the real world they don't block other people's IP addresses to shut them out.
Yes they do. Wikipedia do it to vandals. Banks do it to hackers. The list is endless.
...it's OK to sue the railway company...even OK to sue the government
Ahem - it wasn't a lawsuit in either case, and the action against Great Southern Railway never got out of the blocks to begin with. The action in both cases was disability discrimination. That's not a lawsuit - that's a reversal of a decision by an authority. You're listening to Skipsey on those ones and he's the last person to listen to when it comes to anything related to me. Except maybe for Best.
VGW is NOT a sheltered environment, Phil. Having been there for 7 years, I think I may know a little more than you. It is merely a safe haven, an accepting environment for autistic children.
Safe haven = sheltered environment. Enough said.
Phil has not functioned in society.
Oh really? So how do you explain umpiring for 20 years now? Participating in wrestling shows for 8 years? Autistic advocacy IRL on and off for over 10 years? Running court cases (results are immaterial)? I don't sit on my rear end all day every day like you do whining about your life with just the odd outing! Functioning in society is more than just having a job and having sex, idiot!
Honestly you really don't know much about the real world - Neurodiversity is real and has been with us since Adam and Eve. There's your basic example of neurodiversity right there just for a start! And I only put it that way because of your religious leanings.
That's my last comment on this blog. The AIB Response Blog is back and hidden from your vision on my website, and I will be tearing you a new one there. You should do your best Schultz impersonation and admit it - "I know nothing!" And you do know nothing and it's about time you learnt from people who do know. People like me and Andrew, not people like Best, Skipsey, Mitchell and Cresp!
PS - bad advice, anon, although I do admit that you may have been sarcastic in which case okay.
Aw, ya caught me, Ollie! Actually, I got the liver loving joke from the Jon Stewart show, and was just passing it on for your amusement.
But if you try it, and then somehow "get lucky", your mind will automatically think, "Damn, it does feel the same!"
Just ask Mitchell, I'm sure he's a liver lover from way back. ;-)
"Clay, that is a disgusting and despicable way to insult Jonathan."
Ollie, one of the many benefits of being 64 and retired, is that I don't have to care what an 18 yr old says he thinks of me. I know that you're unaware of the long history between Jonboy and myself, and don't know that I only do it in defense of my friends. If he would stop attacking my friends, I wouldn't bother with him.
"You NDs all baffle me.
I see you're using Jonboy's favorite phrase. Yeah, he's always baffled. I understand he can't find his butt with either hand, too. Aw, there's me trying to be funny again! Are you, like him, entirely bereft of a sense of humor? Tch! Women like guys who can make them laugh.
"Instead of using your own experience to help us curebies get laid, you just use it to insult us and say how you're superior to us."
You must have a short memory too. I have tried to help you. (You should keep in mind, that I don't particularly like it, myself, anyway. I've never actually used a piece of liver, but I'm sure it feels identical, and is much cheaper.)
"That kind of contradicts the "autistic people and normal people are equal" attitude when you don't even treat all autistic people equal."
All people should have equal rights, because we're all people. There is, however, a vast difference in people's intelligence and ability to think. For instance, you seem to think that Mitchell should get a 'free pass' to criticize and attack other autistic people, but should be free to hide behind his autism when they criticize or attack him. Does that really make sense to you?
Ollie said:
"Jonathan Mitchell, Jake Crosby, and I all have the right to demand a cure if we so choose. All you NDs, and there are too many to name, want to take that right away from us."
No, I can categorically state that the bunch of you have the right to demand whatever you want - it just won't get you one. You talk as if we were depriving you of a "cure" as if there is one. There isn't. I had told you to go ahead and get yourself chelated. When you see that it didn't help any, then you'll know.
"We will not stand for that, and will defend ourselves to our wits end."
You're already at your wit's end. ;-)
"We will fight off neurodiversity if we have to, and that includes personally insulting people whom we don't like. Jonathan is not hiding behind his autism, he is just asserting his right to attack, as am I."
No, he has often whined that we attacking a poor, defenseless autistic person (him), while doing the same thing to us, and denying that we were autistic, simply because he thinks that anyone who can "do it" can't possibly be autistic. A very narrow definition.
"What you NDs seem not to realize is that you are the agressors. All we curebies want is a cure, and you NDs throwing personal insults at us is completely uncalled for and deserves revenge."
So, you uphold your right to be personally insulting, because you don't like us, but we can't do the same?
"What goes around comes around, Clay, and it's about time you realize that. We're just giving you a little taste of your own medicine."
You're not hurting me any, Ollie. You're just making yourself miserable by wanting something you will never have. If there actually were a cure, I'd say "go for it", but since there isn't, this whole discussion is moot.
@ Ollie - If there was a cure, Mitchell's mama has enough money to buy him one. Why do you suppose she hasn't? Don't you think she'd love to get the big lunk out of her house?
Go ahead and get yourself chelated. Best of luck to you. I will be interested in knowing how it comes out. (But I won't be surprised.)
@ Jonboy - You go ahead and help yourself to a chelation too. Pay no mind to the warnings that it depletes your body of other needed metals. (To your side, that's just a bunch of "woo".)
Oh, and you wouldn't use "chopped liver", that would just be a mess. You'd use the piece of liver whole. OR, you could try the "warm apple pie" suggested in the movie, "American Pie". Now, that was funny!
"Jonathan Mitchell lives independently from his mother and has since 1984."
I've been trying to get him to say what his living arrangements are, and as far as I know, he hasn't said. However, we do know that he lost his last job over 3 years ago, and has been ruled ineligible for SSDI payments, because he did work for some time.
If he does maintain a separate home, where do you suppose he gets the money to pay for it? He has no income, (unless he gets it from Handley). Or his folks pay for his maintenance. Whatever, he's still a big lunk.
"Jonathan's condo is completely paid off and has been transferred to his name. He doesn't need to pay rent and never has."
Didn't know that the sole biological need for humans is shelter. That's good news, because I waste so much of my day, and so much of my own money, on eating, drinking water and paying my part in keeping my mom's house that I stay in at an adequate living-temperature. Well thanks for the good news, I can sure learn a lot from the life of Jonathan Mitchell, eating, drinking, heating and cooling are all uneccessary and that he's smart not to waste the money, he most likely doesn't make on it.
Btw, Clay, you are now my second favorite person your age. The top-dog, of course is comedic genius, Lewis Black.
Louis C.K. is fucking hilarious, definitely one of my favorite comics, but his show is the biggest disappOintment I have seen in my life. It is the dryest and saddest thing I have ever watched.
I use it to mindfuck people.
Ollie said:
"Jonathan's condo is completely paid off and has been transferred to his name."
Can you please point to where he said that? And who do you suppose paid it off? With his spotty employment record, I really doubt if he earned enough to buy it on his own. Also, I've heard that the cost of electricity is quite high in California. And there are many other living expenses, while again, he has no income!
"While he does not work now, he did for nearly 3 decades so I'm sure he has enough for the basic utilities."
Oh, you're sure, well I got to lie down, because if you are certain to any degree, that totally makes it 100% true.
Ollie, thanks for telling us about the condo. I don't know how Jonboy thought I was going to use that against him. I think it's fine that his parents were able to do that for him. I hope your parents will be able to do the same, because I seriously wouldn't want either of you to have to live on the streets, eat out of dumpsters, or depend on the freakin' state for the pittance they dole out.
Jon grew up in the same neighborhood (Brentwood), as OJ Simpson used to live - very expensive! I'm sure his folks still have enough money to provide for his current needs.
While I can believe he worked spanning 28 years, it was on and off, and he wasn't well-paid. People tend to spend money as fast as they earn it, and so he probably wasn't able to save much. I'll bet all of his bills are sent to his folks.
Still, a boy needs "spending money", for things they might not approve of - enter JB Handley! (or some other anti-neurodiversity deep-pocketed cretin.)
PS. Last comment here, Ollie. I suggest that for your first time out, you go for the "pity fuck". Just go up to some nice-looking girl, skating on the boardwalk or something, and tell her you think she's beautiful, and you'd like her to be your first. The honesty will bowl her over, and she might like the idea of being your tutor. Done right (i.e., without strings), you can let her be your guide, and that will give you some confidence for doing it for real. Good luck, kid.
(And have some "protection" with you.)
Oliver - I salute you for not wanting to be on the dole, and for not wanting to live with your folks or have them support you. As I explained here, it's much better to earn your own way - but it isn't easy.
http://cometscorner-clay.blogspot.com/2010/08/for-those-85-of-us-who-cant-work.html
Not easy at all, and my parents didn't help much, though they could have afforded to. They didn't know anything about my Dx. (Well, I did tell my mother about it, on the phone, just before she died.)
There's nothing "morally wrong" about going for a pity fuck. As long as you're honest, and she can choose whether to do it or not, it's fair.
I mean the "no strings attached" kind. Keep it simple, you don't have to explain autism, just admit you have no experience, and don't try to "talk her into it" either. Remember to compliment her first. "No strings" also means you don't ask to meet her again. Just thank her profusely, and be on your way.
Jonathan is welcome to try the gambit, but it would seem somewhat bizarre coming from a man 55 yrs old, wouldn't it? Still, if he really wanted it that bad, it just might work. (On somebody at least as ugly as he is!) ;-)
Yes, by "protection", I mean a condom. And bring your own, don't expect a girl to provide it. You seem to think that it's a protection only against pregnancy, but it's a necessity these days, because of the risk of STDs, and there's a boatload of them.
And don't use the "F" word, or any other kind of vulgarity. That will get you shot down or slapped.
Again, keep it simple!
"Hi, my name is Oliver, and I think you skate really great!"
"Thanks, Oliver."
"I think you're really pretty, and I wonder if you would be my first. See, I don't really have any experience."
"Hmmm, well..."
Maybe the first one will say "No." Maybe the first ten will say "No." Maybe the eleventh one will have no better plans for the day. Don't give up.
I may do something like that, going for "one last time". ;-)
I've been without longer than you've been alive. (Except I don't want to go "all the way".)
I wasn't going to say anything else, but there are a few things I need to answer:
"I'm aware condoms also prevent STDs, but if I have none and she has none, how could I catch one?"
How would you know she doesn't have one? You'd better read up on them, because you don't seem to be very cognizant of STDs. If you don't wear one, you're not going to get any, because it just isn't done! No girl in her right mind would take such a chance with someone she doesn't even know. (Get "Trojans" with those little ticklers on them. She'll appreciate it.)
"Also, only bottom faggots can get AIDS; nobody else.""As for complimenting her, I hear that is an easy score,"
Women are used to getting compliments, yours needs to be simple and sincere.
"if I cry after she fucks me, would that be a turnoff?"
Probably, but why do you think you would? And what difference would it make if you've just done it?
I'm going to advise against getting a tattoo, the reason being, because they're permanent! You don't want to regret putting something on yourself that you may grow out of, or change your mind about.
Also, I don't advise any drugs for you, not even pot. Not even beer. No offense, but you're just not mature enough. It's very common that Aspies lag 5 - 10 years behind NTs in reaching maturity, and what I've read of you shows that you are a typical Aspie, with many of the more undesirable traits.
Go ahead and read that link to a post of mine, you might learn something. It won't hurt you.
Trojans are for people with small dicks, I'd recommend Lifestle brand condoms. Almost every brand makes lubricated condoms nowadays. That is, if you are big enough.
"I also think it's very manly to get a tattoo, and I plan to get 7 before it's all said and done."
Anybody who modifies his appearance to look like a manly man, gets nothing but disrespect from the real manly men. People don't get tatooes to look manly, anyway, it's body-art, or when they want it to remind them of something. I thought you said art was gay anyway, manly-man?
When it comes to weed, as someone who could be considered a slight pothead, don't smoke weed. You're too immature and your decision making which is already extremely bad, would get worse while high. My decision-making is unaffected when I'm high because I don't do stupid things when I'm not high, so the weed doesn't really change that.
"but beer is just a drink, and I don't see anything wrong with drinking it in public once I'm 21. I mean, how could I enjoy a ballgame in the sun at Dodger Stadium without consuming a Dodger Dog and drinking a cold one?"
You've enjoyed a ballgame in the sun at Dodger Stadium without consuming a cold one before haven't you?? Does turning 21 somehow make it physically impossible to enjoy a Baseball game without beer?? This is a clear case-in-point of what Clay said about immaturity. You sound like a damn 11 year old with that comment, or you sound however young I acted when I was a 11 year old.
Drinking is something you definitely shouldn't do because alcohol has a way stronger influence and causes worse decisions and shows immaturity far worse than weed ever will. There's an old saying even the smartest man can get himself killed being stupid drunk, but idiots die on weed just because they're idiots. So you should definitely not drink, or at the very least, never get drunk.
Chugging beer till you're braindead is not the only way to be respected. I'm a college student, and I was in a fraternity, I haven't had a drink in my life. I earned respect from people by being funny, great company, smart, a good leader, you know by being myself, not by being some asshole who wears tatooes, drinks beer, hides every emotion he has, and disrespects art and intellectuallism just so people can think he's a manly man. And trust me, nobody would think you're a manly man, faking it is too easy to detect, especially for somebody who is terrible at it. And believe, me so many men will think you're a disgrace to the gender, with the disrespect for art and intellectualism, they'd say "how can women be stupid and men be smart when douchebags like you are intentionally stupid."
"It's just how I feel more comfortable, and it's more to prove to myself that I'm masculine and strait, even though I know that in reality I need no proof and I am what I am."
Real men don't have to prove it or even make efforts to prove it to themselves or others, it's a moot-point. They don't talk about what a real man is because how a real man lives day in and day out speaks enough about what a real man is.
Until you stop talking about it, and spending so much time and energy in proving your manhood, we, your fellow men will not accept you as one of us.
"In fact, both of my parents have MFAs (my mom in piano performance and my dad in playwrighting), that they got before they became lawyers."
That's good that your dad doesn't make a constant effort to act like a stupid gorilla, having an ignorant and narrowminded view of what people should be and should like. I guess the apple falls VERY far from the tree in your family.
Oliver, do you say stupid things on purpose, or because you're stupid? If I say, "try wrapping a piece of liver around your joint", then I said nothing about chopped liver. If I say, "buy Trojans", that has nothing to do with the USC football team.
I don't know much about condoms, only had occasion to use one once. Just be sure you have one, and protect yourself from any STDs.
"Not to mention autism-causing, thimerosal-containing vaccines as well."
Again, you're very, very wrong. You've let that maniac John Best convince you of his lies. Read this!
http://health.yahoo.net/news/s/hsn/moreevidencethatvaccinesdontcauseautism
In it, even Geri Dawson, of Autism Speaks, says there's no connection whatsoever. Unbrainwash yourself!
Dan there is right, "faking it is too easy to detect". I'm old, experienced, and I know that you can only fool people for so long, whether you're trying to pass for NT, or doing all you can to appear 'straight'. And the masquerade act is not worth it! It's a kind of psychological suicide.
Oliver, I caught on that you somehow deleted one of my comments, the one that was between these two comments of yours:
"Also, only bottom faggots can get AIDS; nobody else.""As for complimenting her, I hear that is an easy score,"
What I wrote between those two sentences was, "Overlooking your narrow-minded bigotry, that just isn't true. Anybody can catch AIDs, even those who have never had sex with same-sex partners."
You may not edit my comments.
"If the girl I fuck is a virgin or has no STDs,"
How the fuck would you know either of those things??
"And that was not stupid, it was an attempt to be funny."
A piss-poor attempt, I might say.
" And everyone knows the only way to get AIDS is to get assfucked."
You're a fucking idiot, plenty of women have AIDS in Africa, it's more prevalent in men because it's easier to contract AIDS through butt-sex because the easlier torn tissue in the butt puts the virus straight into the bloodstream. So many kids are born with AIDS because their mothers have it. And men can get it from women because when the woman orgasms they can pass the virus into the guy's uretha.
Or, lemme guess are these facts that women, straight men and infants having AIDS is just a lie put on by Big Pharma??
"I don't need to act strait because I am strait and therefore have nothing to hide."
Hence the reason you spend so much time acting it. I'm not accusing you of being gay or not straight, but it seems that while you may not have the need to act straight, you sure as hell feel the need to act straight.
"Everyone at VGW used to call me gay and a faggot and feminine so I feel I have to prove them wrong, even if I know I'm right."
You're giving them more of a case by spending all this time talking and proving then you would if you were just having your natural personality. I wouldn't blame you if you acted more feminine, do you realize how much pussy guys who act more feminine get?? I'd do it too, except I'm not good at it, and I don't really care that much about rolling in the poon, because I'm a mature adult, who is capable of getting it when I want it.
"And yes, my political views differ greatly from those of my parents."
I'm not talking about political views, there's more to people than their fucking political views. Your father is an intelligent, open-minded person, whom is very enlightened like people who live in the 21st Century should be. You are an asshole who is by choice a stupid, narrowminded, ignorant jackass who needs to stop being stubborn and move on to the next century, which in your case is the 20th Century.
"I'm smarter than you, so no I am not stupid. Liver and chopped liver are the same god-damned thing, so don't fucking try to lecture me on that one."
You're not very smart at all, if you don't know the difference between liver and liver that has been chopped up. One is a whole piece, while the other is in thousands of tiny pieces.
It wasn't at all obvious that you were trying to be funny by inserting "USC" to describe Trojans. If no one "gets it", it isn't funny.
"If the girl I fuck is a virgin or has no STDs, the how the Hell could I get one? Explain that to me, Mr. Section 8 Discharge."
Do you honestly think a virgin would give it up to you, just to be nice? Most definitely not, and you wouldn't want one, if you wanted someone to "show you the ropes". Your rantings make no sense, and FYI, I have TWO Honorable Discharges. I re-enlisted once.
"Big Pharma must've paid off Yahoo! news to report the falsehood that vaccines don't cause autism. Gimme a fuckin' break! Everyone knows that they do, even the ones who deny it!"
Yeah, it's all an evil, vast, international conspiracy to make everyone just as addlepated as you are, just like John Best says. :-/
"I don't know how that phrase got deleted, but it sure as Hell wasn't me."
Okay, I don't know what happened to it, but I clearly recall what I had said. And you're saying "everyone knows" a lot, which is a logical fallacy. Anyone can get AIDs, if they have sex with someone who has it. Doesn't matter where they got it from.
And Jon Mitchell and I agree on one thing, autism is mainly genetic. There is no connection between it and thimerosal.
But you run along and get yourself chelated. Then you'll know it doesn't work.
"as it was invented by God to rid the Earth of homosexuals in defiance of His word."
Didn't know God hired such ignorant, lazy assholes as his spokesmen to explain and tell people what his motives are or what he had a finger in and what he didn't. And I'm sure a lot of good God-fearers and reverers would be very shocked to know what a prick God is according to you.
"I'd ask her before I fucked her."
I'm glad you expect a disease ridden skank to tell you the truth, me I'm not so stupid. Without blood test results, my dick remains in the condom, period.
"I often refer to something irrelevant. One example is when they call Scratcher "Ass-Scratcher."."
Neither of which is funny.
"And yes, hot girls always tell the truth."
There's nothing to say to that, the stupidity in that statement is self-explanatory.
"Yes, God hates faggots so He eradicated them via AIDS."
Again, didn't know God hired such ignorant, lazy assholes to be his spokesmen.
"Blood tests are out of the question due to my fear of needles."
Again you show your lack of any intelligence, and don't act like this is your attempt to be eccentric, this is you being stupid. How would a doctor putting a needle in your skin, determine whether or not a girl you're planning on having unprotected sex with is clean. She'd get the blood test, dumbass not you. That's my policy and you should wise up and not have unprotected sex unless you see a blood-test result of hers.
"Actually, I'd think a virgin would be more likely to fuck me out of pity because they're desperate too."
No they wouldn't because women aren't going to turn their v-card into someone who (admittedly) is a pathetic loser.
"I don't care if people get my odd references, as I can be eccentric on this blog if I want to."
We got the reference and it sucked, believe me it wasn't odd, it wasn't intriguing, it was simple and not eccentric, the slightest. It should be illegal for your name to be within 50 yards of the word eccentric.
"Actually, it is funny when they insult Scratcher. It completely powns him."
No it doesn't *pwn* him, and don't use the word "PWN" (there is no o in "pwn") until you know how to spell it and where it originated from.
You can't pwn somebody with something that doesn't even bother or embarrass the said person. It doesn't bother Scratcher and I don't blame him, because it is a piss-poor attempt to call names, involves no wit whatsoever, and doesn't accomplish its goal. It makes the person calling him Ass-Scratcher seem more like the true ass-scratcher.
Case in point even further. A pathetic little dickweed who can't even accomplish getting pity-pussy, is now declaring himself my warlord.
Okay, warlord. (Smiling with hands in my pocket, slowly backpedaling away, giving a one-armed salute, with the other hand dialing 911 in my pocket to get you committed.)
Know what I think, Ollie? I think that you're incredibly lonely, and you just love to write outrageously stupid things in order to get a response, any response, from anyone. Kinda like your faking hyperventilating, just to get attention. You're such a mentally perverted little twerp, you probably get an orgasm reading these responses. All I can say is, "Bye, little dude!"
Amen Clay!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh_9QhRzJEs
To what battlefield must I fight in your holy name my liege? Dirka Dirka Dirka. Canby HuAkbar!!!
Sure, I'd be honored to receive your holy commandments there, at 1:15 Eastern this coming Sunday. Meet me at the 50 yard line, your worship.
I thought maybe your Warlordiness could command me split in the middle of the offensive and defensive lines.
Oliver, you are cutting deep mental grooves with your obsessional looping (over thinking) and once those grooves turn into ruts it is hard to pull your wagon (brain) out.
If you want to have sex stop obsessing over it. The same thing if you are looking for love. The harder you try, the more frustration you will experience.
How did you convince yourself having intercourse was the most important thing you need to accomplish right now?
It is much more pleasurable to knock boots with someone you actually like. That means having some relationship with the person you want to bed down. When you get to know someone first you have a better idea of the risks that are involved with intercourse. Not only health risks. All the risks.
I know you are at an age where it is impossible to think of anything but sex. It will pass. Well, you'll still be thinking about it but your drive will drop.
Have you ever considered just fooling around?
Back in the day we didn't go all the way for fear of pregnancy. In the stone age a kid couldn't just go to the store and buy condoms.
Pros for just fooling around:
ladies don't generally put out right away
climax without fear of creating a life
experiment and see what you like
practice technique
learn how to pace yourself
can be serious or not
no pressure for either to perform/put out
If you don't care to have a relationship you can just buy a lay. I don't recommend that.
I am serious, classy women do not just put out to any stranger. The term used for women (and men) that one-night-stand all the time is whore or slut.
Think of it as taking a dip in a pool. If you swim in a dirty pool you might get sick.
I fooled around and didn't go all the way until I was married (28).
I realize as a male it is different but I never had a boyfriend that was less than thrilled to be doing everything but the main thing.
My husband was happy to live with me for 8 years before it ever happened.
I'm not recommending you wait but you might want to approach your problem less from the "I need sex today" to more "I'd like to meet someone that floats my boat today" and see where that takes you.
Anyone can have sex. Dogs do it all the time and they aren't particular about species.
You'll find more happiness trying to become a great lover than just some guy that finally got laid. I know the ladies involved would rather you be a good lover instead of some slut man.
Being good at the preliminaries takes time and a lot of practice yet practice is fun.
A good way to meet a girl is to take a class in something you are interested in, like writing, photography, etc., just get involved. Getting out and being with people in your peer group will start you in the right direction.
If you are looking for a relationship, focus less on looks and more on what interests you have in common and if you get along.
It will happen; quit trying to make it happen.
Give your mind more space for other thoughts.
Sorry if this sounds preachy, not my intention.
btw I used to live in Mar Vista and I loved it! LA is tough to manage without a car. East coast cities have better mass transit. Terrible climate but better if you're carless.
Good luck with your endeavor.
Oliver, you are cutting deep mental grooves with your obsessional looping (over thinking) and once those grooves turn into ruts it is hard to pull your wagon (brain) out.
If you want to have sex stop obsessing over it. The same thing if you are looking for love. The harder you try, the more frustration you will experience.
How did you convince yourself having intercourse was the most important thing you need to accomplish right now?
It is much more pleasurable to knock boots with someone you actually like. That means having some relationship with the person you want to bed down. When you get to know someone first you have a better idea of the risks that are involved with intercourse. Not only health risks. All the risks.
I know you are at an age where it is impossible to think of anything but sex. It will pass. Well, you'll still be thinking about it but your drive will drop.
Have you ever considered just fooling around?
Back in the day we didn't go all the way for fear of pregnancy. In the stone age a kid couldn't just go to the store and buy condoms.
Pros for just fooling around:
ladies don't generally put out right away
climax without fear of creating a life
experiment and see what you like
practice technique
learn how to pace yourself
can be serious or not
no pressure for either to perform/put out
If you don't care to have a relationship you can just buy a lay. I don't recommend that.
I am serious, classy women do not just put out to any stranger. The term used for women (and men) that one-night-stand all the time is whore or slut.
Think of it as taking a dip in a pool. If you swim in a dirty pool you might get sick.
I'm not recommending you wait but you might want to approach your problem less from the "I need sex today" to more "I'd like to meet someone that floats my boat today" and see where that takes you.
Anyone can have sex. Dogs do it all the time and they aren't particular about species.
You'll find more happiness trying to become a great lover than just some guy that finally got laid. The ladies involved would rather you be a good lover instead of some slutman.
Being good at the preliminaries takes time and a lot of practice yet practice is fun.
Take a class in something you are interested in and get involved. Being with people in your peer group will start you in the right direction.
If you are looking for a relationship, focus less on looks and more on what interests you have in common and if you get along.
It will happen; quit trying to make it happen.
Give your mind more space for other thoughts.
Sorry if this sounds preachy, not my intention.
btw I used to live in Mar Vista and I loved it! LA is tough to manage without a car. East coast cities have better mass transit. Terrible climate but better if you're carless.
Good luck with your endeavor.
Oliver, you are cutting deep mental grooves with your obsessional looping (over thinking) and once those grooves turn into ruts it is hard to pull your wagon (brain) out.
If you want to have sex stop obsessing over it. The same thing if you are looking for love. The harder you try, the more frustration you will experience.
How did you convince yourself having intercourse was the most important thing you need to accomplish right now?
It is much more pleasurable to knock boots with someone you actually like. That means having some relationship with the person you want to bed down. When you get to know someone first you have a better idea of the risks that are involved with intercourse. Not only health risks. All the risks.
I know you are at an age where it is impossible to think of anything but sex. It will pass. Well, you'll still be thinking about it but your drive will drop.
Have you ever considered just fooling around?
Back in the day we didn't go all the way for fear of pregnancy. In the stone age a kid couldn't just go to the store and buy condoms.
Pros for just fooling around:
ladies don't generally put out right away
climax without fear of creating a life
experiment and see what you like
practice technique
learn how to pace yourself
can be serious or not
no pressure for either to perform/put out
If you don't care to have a relationship you can just buy a lay. I don't recommend that.
I am serious, classy women do not just put out to any stranger. The term used for women (and men) that one-night-stand all the time is whore or slut.
Think of it as taking a dip in a pool. If you swim in a dirty pool you might get sick.
I'm not recommending you wait but you might want to approach your problem less from the "I need sex today" to more "I'd like to meet someone that floats my boat today" and see where that takes you.
Anyone can have sex. Dogs do it all the time and they aren't particular about species.
You'll find more happiness trying to become a great lover than just some guy that finally got laid. The ladies involved would rather you be a good lover instead of some slutman.
Being good at the preliminaries takes time and a lot of practice yet practice is fun.
Take a class in something you are interested in and get involved. Being with people in your peer group will start you in the right direction.
If you are looking for a relationship, focus less on looks and more on what interests you have in common and if you get along.
It will happen; quit trying to make it happen.
Give your mind more space for other thoughts.
Sorry if this sounds preachy, not my intention.
btw I used to live in Mar Vista and I loved it! LA is tough to manage without a car. East coast cities have better mass transit. Terrible climate but better if you're carless.
Good luck with your endeavor.
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