Chris Mulligan is a social worker in Los Angeles, California whose father directed To Kill A Mockingbird. He specializes in children, teens, and young adults with autism specrtum disorders. I had the privilege of attending Chris Mulligan's from 2001 to 2004, and I couldn't have been luckier. Along with VGW, Therapy West, and everything else, Chris Mulligan's turned me into the person I am today. I learned social skills cognitively and intellectually as opposed to intuitively, and it worked miracles. It even got to the point where I left VGW for a normal school, although that did not wor very well. Anyway, Chris Mulligan's is a great place to send your autistic child, and you can learn more at www.groupworkswest.com.
The fact that neurodiversity publicly lobbies against social skills groups like Chris Mulligan's is astounding. It's as if they go out of their way to make sure autistic people are marginalized by society and don't get the help they need to be accepted. Opposing a cure is one thing, but opposing any intervention at all is just plain wrong. Many younger NDs hate this, and I believe they are just rebelling against their parents because their parents helped them become at least somewhat normal. Neurodiversity, this is for you. Whether or not there is a cure, there are ways to help autistic people be less autistic, and social skills groups is one of them. I know you feel you have a right to be autistic, but most people don't and they want to fit in, so let them instead of speaking on their behalf. Thank you and God bless.
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I beg your pardon? Social skills groups like the one you attended are NOT opposed by us! Who told you that?
Such a thing is part of the improvement process to functioning. It will never resolve it 100 percent but it is a move forward. The fact that you still have issues by your own admission proves that it wasn't a 100 percent resolution for you.
And there will always be gaps in social skills still lingering. That can't be changed because the world evolves.
"And yes, there are several NDs who do oppose them, although apparently you are not one of them.
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... Then stop lumping everybody who is anti-cure all together!!! That's why nobody respects Glenn Beck because he is hypocritical especially when he lumps everybody who believes one facet of an idea into the same ideology and then goes on to demonize them. Of course he then goes on to say that people who believe Religion is good aren't trying to create a Totalitarian Theocracy, but of course he is just manipulating his rules to his own advantage like the liar that he is.
You're doing that too, you word it as if because I'm anti-cure I believe that services shouldn't exist, therefore under that logic, you're in support of aborting Autistic babies on account of your anti-cure beliefs. How do you like it, Oliver? Because that's exactly what you do to us... so stop doing it!!!
And while you may then say that you don't make that assertion and verify that you're not making it, you still are. Because you specifically worded it that way in the entry, the part of the thread that will be read more and be more noticed. If you want to be taken with any seriousness then I suggest you stop trying to avoid logic, and fact, and quit making such an effort to win on rhetoric alone. If you're so right you wouldn't need to make the rhetorical cheap-shots you're making at your ideological opponents.
If you're right then it shouldn't be that hard for neutral parties to realize it, without the cheap rhetoric you use to try to help your point.
There is nothing about the anti-cure camp that says anything about being against services and social skills instruction, just like the pro-cure camp says nothing about abortion. This is not a game that you want to play with me, Oliver. You've come so far man, don't go backwards.
There are people on the fringes who feel that supports and social skills instruction are not necessary, but that isn't a major stance of the anti-cure side. So stop playing these games.
Oliver just because social skills groups didn't help those people doesn't mean they oppose them. Don't assume. That's dangerous.
ASAN do NOT oppose social skills groups. They do oppose making them compulsory - because some (and I would guess SBWG and Sarah would be included in this) just can't handle them. It happens.
The vast majority of Autistic Activists (get it right, please) support the idea of social skills groups.
It doesn't matter what your opinion of their platform is, ASAN's official stance is that social skill's groups are good if the individual can handle them. Some people aren't ready for them right away, which is why other interventions need to be utilized before they are in social sklls group. Max, the boy I mentor was like this. He needed indiviudal therapies and interventions before he did social skills things.
Against social skills training? You have once again pulled more nonsense out of your *45* without critically thinking about what Sarah and SBWG said.
They did not say they were against ALL social skills training, they are just opposed to those shitty programs that still attempt to make the children "indistinguishable from their peers" or blaming the victims if they get bullied. I am against that too, but I have been lucky enough to go through decent programs whose intentions are simply to help me get along with people better without abandoning my unique way of being.
Ari Ne'eman DOES want autistics to learn the skills they need to cope in an NT dominated world, but he is against normalization. He did not say he was opposed to social skills training. You should watch the videos of him and look at the effort he makes to be a gentleman. He has definitely learned that somewhere. I am sure his political science major has required him to take a speaking as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwp2lL7rFrM
It is like this: if an immigrant wants to live and work in America, s/he should be able to speak English. However, that does not mean s/he needs to be Americanized, or start adopting the typical American way of life.
I have a post about my views on social skills training right here:
http://cheetahchottah.blogspot.com/2010/05/low-quality-social-skills-training.html
Always the prejudiced, xenophobe, Oliver. I guess you're hopeless because you will never modify your expectations, and you will never reach the ridiculous ones that you have. America has no place for people like you, YOU PEOPLE can go get your own country where prejudiced people like you can be by yourselves in your own bubble of culture without any outsiders.
What Ne'eman wants is a pipe dream. The reality is that almost every person on the spectrum is far more affected by their disorder than he is. He wants to have his cake and eat it too as my old psychoanalyst would say. He expects people to be crippled by a social disability and at the same time be able to do things that are out of reach of their disability. Ne'eman offers no solutions to these problems except his phony baloney copout "being anti-cure isn't being anti-progress" And the despicable no myths video that claims that autistics can just do fine are like everyone else and there is plenty of hope and they can do fine.
I am still waiting for Ne'eman and ASAN and Catatab to offer any positive suggestions. I know Catatab appears to believe that if all persons more impaired than her such as myself would just make more effort, they could do just fine. Just like the paraplegic being able to dump his wheelchair.
Ari Ne'eman speaks the way he does because he is a con man who wants people to believe that all autistics can speak that way.
Oliver this is the sort of talk that gets you hated by the community at large. Fact - with the right treatment early enough, those on the Spectrum CAN get to Ari's level of functioning. That's no con, and to call it a con shows how much hate you still have to let go that relates to Autism. I've always said that's your biggest hold back - blaming Autism for everything important. Mitchell's the same, but then unlike you he was brought up like that in a time when Autism was a black spot on the community that everyone regarded with just one word - crazy.
You want a suggestion? Stop hating. You don't have to love it. Just tolerate it a whole lot and ADJUST. You can do it. You're still a teenager and you still have the flexibility. Don't let this chance pass you by - and the way to start is to commit to going to college in January 2011.
Mitchell only says it's a pipe dream because he can only look at it from his own point of view. A point of view that is tainted so badly and is so irrelevant to the society of the 21st century it's useless.
There is no such thing as normal. That's what you need to understand to begin with. Defining normal is what is holding you back. Define YOU, and then BE you. Don't be what society wants you to be, because that will psychologically murder you and you'll end up just like Mitchell - a whining old man with little to live for and just existing to please his cowardly mother. Aim to NOT finish up like him. You can do it - and remain on the Spectrum. You're 18. You have PLENTY of time.
Believe me, I wish I could pick up my life from when I was 18. So many things could be different. But I can't, so I go with what I have. Don't make the same mistake, Oliver. You know you're on the Spectrum (something I didn't know when I was 18) so you have an advantage. Take it. That's what Ari and ASAN want people like you to do by giving you an achievable target - take what you have (and you have plenty) and use it. You have abilities, so USE THEM! Show the world the abilities you have.
Oliver I never said that Mitchell was a refridgerator mother victim. You are putting words into my mouth. What happened was that doctors in the 1950's called her a bad parent, and instead of fighting for her son she submitted and tried to cure him. I blame her for not fighting - and that's hardly being a fridge mother. But I also blame society at the time for even letting that happen. The 1950's was a very backward time for anyone who wasn't straight, white or religious (amongst other things).
I take your point that Mitchell may have Autism worse than you do. HFA is in some ways worse than Aspergers, but then because variables exist within the conditions themselves (ie I'm probably functioning better than you, but then Ari functions better than me - and yet all three of us are Aspies). But it doesn't excuse anyone from the idea of "try, try again". Even at 54, Mitchell still has options. He just doesn't want to try, and if Ari gets his way Mitchell will find it much easier to get a job and not change. Under the same circumstances I'd get a job in a split second (provided certain other things happened as well but that's my affair).
Your quality of life would not be better with a cure. You've lost too much time being an Aspie. People (ASD and NT alike) are defined by their childhood and teens - and you can't change that no matter what. Whatever issues you believe a cure may solve, there are other issues that will arise that you wouldn't be ready for. The fact that you went to VGW would hold you up for a start. It's a legacy of your past that you can't hide - and it would have people calling you a fake (either NT or ASD - take your pick). That would wreck your social life even as an NT. Think about that, okay?
Thanks for the correction on school semesters. My bad - I forgot that your school year starts after your summer. So does ours, but in February. I made a mistake on that one and I apologise.
None of us believe in The Refrigerator Mom Theory so get that the fuck out of your head. We believe Autism is genetic and that etiology has NOTHING to do with parenting. Bad and neglectful parenting makes symptoms worse with people on the Spectrum, but bad and neglectful parenting is bad for any kid.
So stop fucking saying that we believe that. NOBODY believes in the Refrigerator Mom Theory and if somebody does their not anti-cure. In fact they're probably more likely to be one of you Curaqi!!! Stop calling us Neurodiversity you prejudiced, self-loathing, hateful, Curaqi dog.
Although I don't see a social worker, I've been seeing a speech-language pathologist for the same reasons you've been seeing Chris Mulligan. In my case, having expressive and receptive problems is my major weakness. Is there a specific SLI you have that makes it difficult for you to socialize, or is it just the pragmatics?
IMO, I believe people from Neurodiversity need to see a social worker or speech therapist for whatever issues they have.
Because his mother was a cowardly, neglectful bitch when raising him, it made it harder for him. The Refrigerator Mom Theory is about Etiology, the cause. None of us has said that his mom caused his Autism, but that the fact that she was a cowardly, neglectful bitch caused him to become a cowardly, neglectful bitch. His Autism and his upbringing are too logically independent terms, he'd still be a cowardly, neglectful bitch if his mother had raised him the same way she did had he not been on the Spectrum.
And stop talking about Bitchell, he wants you to feel sorry for him and to fuel the fires he builds. Stop doing it. Begin worry about Oliver Canby. To hell with Mitchell, he isn't your problem. It may be selfish, but that's what you need to do, that aging sourpuss is not for you to worry about. You are 19 and have a lot of potential man that can only be used if you get the will for it, and only wasted if you don't get the will. I honestly have confidence that you will become a successful respectable guy if you start looking in the direction I'm pointing. You really need to build your self-esteem, come to terms with the roadblocks you face, decipher the answer to what tools you have and then overcome anything that gets in your way. It isn't going to be easy, but getting on the right track never is brother. The hard and time consuming way is always better than the quick and easy solution that you just go with because of those two simple and highly overrated qualities.
Your life and future is like the butterfly in the apprentice of Socrates' hands, and you yourself are like the Apprentice. "It's all in your hands, my man."
Quote, the Autie "Forevermore."
Just because Ari told us to disregard Rimland doesn't mean he supports the fridge mother theory. Rimland has uttered some other BS (I can't remember what exactly - but he is up for a Phil's World award on the H side) and I think you'll find that's why Ari has dissed him.
Don't believe whatever Mitchell says. His experience is limited and out of date. Much of what happened to him would not happen now. He has worked and is quite good at research (even though his interpretations are wrong but that's beside the point) so there is a workable functioning level there. Frankly, he's beyond help for one very simple reason. He refuses to help himself. You at least are prepared to give it a shot (ie college). Just one piece of advice for what it's worth. Don't go there without back up from your parents (they'll help you whenever you need it I'm certain), and make sure the college knows that you are an Aspie. I mean the college heads, not the staff. They'll help make sure that the college experience is better than high school - and get the best out of you.
Oh they'd admit you, Oliver. They can't refuse. That's illegal for sure. Segregation (to a point) is a good idea, especially in the early stages while you get used to the atmosphere.
I'm glad you take a different view to special ed. It's a perfect example of Mitchell's experience being out of step with the 21st century. I know I've criticised VGW's teaching levels, and we'll disagree forever on that one probably. But that's beside the point. VGW wasn't the cruel and inhuman place that Mitchell went to. He would think VGW (in terms of experience rather than existence) is a myth.
But if he can get a college degree - you definitely can!
Thanks for reminding me why Rimland is a quack. He is in fact one of the front runners for getting a Phil's World award next year (along with Harvey Biala and Rima Laibow in the medical professional category).
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While rejection solely based on a disability would be illegal, behavioral issues cannot be tolerated, disability or not.
That is NT rhetoric and can not be respected in the cold hard light of human rights. There are behaviours that are perfectly acceptable. What got you expelled?
And did Mitchell tell you he visited VGW? If he did - he lied.
One more thing - it's against the TOS of Blogger to retain spam. It should be deleted, otherwise they'll come back.
Why did you pull the knife?
My response to that actually is... BULLSHIT!!! There's no way you didn't know that and don't use that as an excuse you sack of crap.
Phil, I don't know if Oliver is on the HAA yet, but this merits it, telling such lies about himself just to make the Spectrum look bad.
You still used that as an explanation for why you did it. Just because you said you deserved the punishment you received, doesn't change the fact that you're saying you did it because you were Autistic, you miserable shit.
No, you are just a whiny little bitch. Autism is not demonic possession that causes possession of contraband.
Oliver, you didn't answer my question. Why did you pull the knife? Don't blame your Autism for it. There had to be another cause and I want to know what it was. Did you feel threatened? If so who by and why?
Note - I'm not condoning the act. The key to make sure it doesn't happen again is to understand the true reason as to why.
A stupid act by somebody who sill is a stupid little fuckhead
No Phil, I did not feel threatened.
Then why did you pull the knife?? There had to be a reason - don't tell me Autism did it because that's not an answer.
Yes there was. There had to be a trigger, and your Autism wasn't it. And it wasn't the behavioural issues either. There had to be a "smoking gun" (metaphor). What was it?
My ass, Autism doesn't have behavioral problems moron. Social, sensory and communicational difficulties lead to what some call "behavioral problems" but that's because fucks like you don't realize that neurotypicals should adapt to you just as much as you should adapt to him.
No, you're just a whiny little J.D. Salinger protagonist
There really wasn't, Phil. It was just a stupid thing that I did that I will regret for the rest of my life.
You're lying. You're hiding the reason, and I will find out what it was. And the fact that you are hiding the reason means logically that you WILL do it again when the situation repeats itself. Unless you face it and understand it.
No you haven't because you refuse to face what really caused it. That's scary.
Somebody's avoiding the truth. Looks like Joeksoff should be worried about holding onto his king-bonehead crown because you may be dethrowning him, Ollie.
It is my business when I'm trying to get you to understand yourself - given that no one else is doing it. You can't have moved on because you haven't dealt with the cause of the incident. It wasn't poor behaviour skills. It was someone else who upset you. It had to be - it's not possible to be anything else.
YOu ARE hiding something, and that's the biggest threat to your well being of all.
You're lying.
I know the situation. Many Autistics face it. I've faced it. And NONE of them claim no external influence. Your claim goes COMPLETELY against the practical experience of the Autistic community. Behaviours are ALWAYS influenced by practical factors. No exceptions.
That's how I know you're lying.
Everybody knows that it was a mistake dumbfuck, that isn't the fucking point!!! The point is that our mistakes are influenced by something outside, because we don't act to things we react to things. There was something else that led to your mistake, and you are hiding it just to bash the ASD Community, you fucking douchefag.
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